Without change, there would be no butterflies.

28th January

2012-01-29T11:17:00.000Z

Yesterday was mine and Anthony's six month anniversary. Because we thought I had work, we went out and celebrated it (a meal and the cinema) on Friday. So, yesterday was more of a relaxed, just want to spend the day together, kind of day. :)

My Mum and sister were planning to go to Cwmbran shopping so they asked if we wanted to come and Anthony suggested that maybe we go bowling. I'm starting think bowling may be mine and Ant's thing, like that tradition that you do on important events? We go a lot (compared to the time we weren't going out). A plus is that I'm actually pretty good at it (although Ant does get incredibly moody if he plays badly. He pulls the cutest little sad/angry face).

While Mum and Lottie were shopping, me and Ant went to Starbucks. I tried their fruit loaf thing and oh.my.god. it was tasty. I've finally found a food in Starbucks that I like! (Other than their bacon bap obviously). Ant's on a diet so he just drank water but he had fun anyway, he spent his time trying to perfect his scores on Cut The Rope. Don't think that that meant I was just staring into space (while having the world's greatest love affair with my fruit loaf, especially when I discovered the butter melted into it). I have stolen his 'The Armchair Economist' and I'm reading that at the moment. Surprisingly, not only do I understand it, I'm really enjoying it as well. Who'd have guessed?

After they'd finished shopping, Lottie rang us to see if we wanted to go to Pizza Hut with them. Never one to pass up an opportunity to eat pizza, I said we'd meet them there in 10 minutes. We eventually got there about 20 minutes later, having taken a slight detour to buy a game for Ant's brother.

We ordered the pizza and had (delicious!) cheesy garlic bread (well, Ant had a salad) while we waited.

Although I prefer Domino's pizza, it was yummy. Anthony had BBQ chicken (it's a weird diet..) and everyone was silent as we dug in.

Looking at that picture of the pizza, I almost wish I was eating some right now.. (It looks so tasty!)

After our food, we walked over to the Bowlplex. We decided to buy 3 games and after we'd put on the clown shoes, we were ready to go!

It all started to go down hill for Anthony here. As you can see, I won the first game. Poor Lottie though, coming in last. She was so sure she was going to win as well!

Ant won the second game which meant the two of us were drawing (205 each). Poor Lottie was again, coming in last.

Mum's always fun to go out with because when I suggest things like having a jug at 5 o'clock in the afternoon, she's always up for it. We shared a WKD Red, Sambucca + Cranberry juice jug, although she drank the majority of it because I had forgotten I can't stand Sambucca (thank you, Sunday Shots..)

AND THE FINAL SCORES ARE IN. Guess who won?

YEP ME! I am the champion of bowling.

Anthony was not in a good mood. I've told him that we're going to have to teach him how to lose, even if he is playing badly.

I didn't do much gloating yesterday but I would just like to remind everyone that this is not the first time I have won bowling against Anthony. It has happened before.

See? Champion.

While we waited for my Dad to come pick us up, we played in the arcade. When I say we I mean I spent £7 on 50p tokens. 2 of them went on the basketball game (oh, which I beat Anthony at as well!) and the rest went on those claw machines. I am such a sucker for those things.

Ant did cheer up slightly (even if you can't tell from the photo), by setting a new high score on the hammer game. His score was 897, beating the other high score by 5. Woo!

After Ant had popped home and come back to mine, we played a game of scrabble. I love scrabble but I have to say, when you've had 7 out of the 12 E's by your 4th go, it can get frustrating.

I'd plan out perfect words to get me high scores and then Ant would swoop in and mess up that side of the board.

It got very frustrating.

After a go that scored me a whole load of points (and no, Anthony did not help/switch letters with me so sh) I won!

All in all, it was a good day for me, winning wise..

And the best 6 month anniversary ever. :)

6 whole months.

2012-01-28T10:51:00.001Z

6 months today. :)

It's ours.

2012-01-24T21:14:00.000Z

Today, me and few other people I'm in school with had to take part in a short interview/discussion about our thoughts on Welsh lessons and Welsh qualifications.

It was nothing out of the ordinary. I got the same feeling of belonging I always get when I think of being able to speak/understand (fairly well..) Welsh. I've always loved the language and it's sound. It's like music to me. I've never really thought about why this is or anything but today, one of my friends, Aled, said something that I keep thinking about.

It was the kind of moment where he made an almost throw-away comment, not thinking anything of it, but that really resonated with me. I can't stop thinking about it, or why it's so perfect. I think the woman had just asked us why we had taken Welsh or something along those lines. A few of us had given some answers and she was just about to move on when Aled just quietly said:

"When I speak Welsh, it makes me proud. It's part of our country. It's ours."

The last two words of it literally gave me goosebumps. He just.. I've never met anyone who understands how passionate I am about being Welsh or the language or how important it is to me and in 3 sentences, he just had it.

21st - 22nd January

2012-01-23T08:36:00.002Z

We got picked up from Charlie's at 20 past 8 and went to the train station. Our train was at 20 to 9 and once in Cardiff, we went to the Prince of Wales to meet the guys off the mini bus. We caught the train with our friend Jamie (who is actually one of the nicest kids ever).

Once we'd popped into the Prince of Wales, we walked backed to the hotel to drop Anthony's jacket off and to get an 18th banner for Charlie (which we ended up forgetting). It took us forever, mainly because I discovered on the way there that my feet have somehow shrunk and the shoes that fit perfectly when I bought them kept slipping off. We made it back to the Prince of Wales, just in time for everyone to leave.

We all headed to Glam after a quick stop to get money. We got free entry and spent the rest of the night there (by the time we realised we'd planned on going to Oceana, we didn't want to have to queue+wait to get in). After a lot of dancing (at one point, I got so low, I fell over), me, Anthony, Charlie, Alice, Chavs, Gilly and Lauren all ended up outside. We had no idea where anyone else was. We knew they were in the club somewhere but what level or whether they were in the loos or not were questions we couldn't have answered. Charlie was having a conversation with some guy called Gaz, Gilly was making everyone laugh and I was trying to convince Lauren to not pick up and use a straw off the floor.

We left for the hotel at half 1, since the mini bus was coming for everyone else at half 2. It was so nice to get back to the hotel and take my shoes off, I was so sick of them sticking to the floor in Glam and falling off. The bed was unbelievably comfy as well so after a snack of Hula Hoops and Diet Sprite (at about 3am), I crawled under the covers and had the nicest sleep.

We were woken up at 10 to 10 yesterday morning with the nicest looking breakfast tray I've ever seen.

I had orange juice, rice krispies and croissants (the most breakfast I may have ever eaten, ever) and Anthony had sausage, bacon, hash browns, beans, fried egg and tea. This being somehow who thought I was silly for suggesting the breakfast idea in the first place. Proof that you should always listen to me! Haha :)

We left the hotel at 12 and went for yet another shop. I managed to spend just under £60 on books (oh and a new pair of flat shoes seeing as I forgot to bring a pair and my poor feet couldn't handle the heels falling off all the time) and we only had an hour gap between the hotel and the train home.

We did make a stop at Starbucks though. I have to say, a Sunday morning Starbucks with Ant may be the best thing ever.

This weekend has just been so much fun!

21st January

2012-01-22T16:11:00.001Z

My best friend turned 18 last Tuesday and to celebrate, 20 or so of us went out in Cardiff for the night. Me and Anthony booked a hotel in the city. We didn't want to get the minibus back and decided it would be easier to just stay in the city anyway. We drove to Cardiff at about 2 o'clock, to check into the hotel and do a bit of shopping before coming back to get ready.

The hotel room looked so nice, we had a chill watching rugby before I spent all of my money on pretty new clothes. We drove back (and got stuck in a bit of traffic) so we got home around 6. Cutting it a bit close seeing as we were going to Charlie's for 7.. We only ended up being about 15/20 minutes late though so it wasn't a total catastrophe.

Driving is fun!
He gets bored of photos after a while so he stop taking them seriously.
Yummy McDonalds lunch!
The hotel lobby.
A fancy looking waiting area.
Walking to the room (in a manly way).
He kept trying to get into the room opposite..
The room #1
The room #2 (and the comfiest chair).
The view from the room.
The room view again, of one of the shopping centres.
He's just the best ever. :)

End of Exam + The Gym

2012-01-20T19:02:00.000Z

Today was my first day of no-more-exams. I sat my last exam (Psychology) yesterday at 5 to 1. I wish I could say this exam period has gone well but the lack of preparation and the pressure of having 5 exams in a seven day period got to me. I've been feeling ill for the last two weeks but it unfortunately got worse yesterday meaning I had to sit my exam (and the one I was most worried about) with the worst migraine I've had in a while. Needless to say, I was pretty upset but at least I'll have the resit.

It's been a hard lesson but at least I know to do it differently for May. I'm going to have a few days of complete rest, let my brain stop needing to explode and then I'm going to start the preparations. These exams are scarier seeing as there's no chance of resitting them.. Aaah I don't want to think about it!

I'm not looking forward to getting my results back either. Ugh, exam time is the worst!

So, now that exams are over, I have the time to focus on my 2012 goals and just generally doing whatever makes me happy. It's so nice to play guilt-free xbox or have a guilt-free read.

Today saw the beginning of my plan to be healthier this year. I'm so unhealthy, going to the gym once a month would actually be a huge achievement. Hopefully I'll go more than that but hey, we'll have to wait and see.

So, after my lessons today, me and Anthony went to the gym. Now, the first time I went to the gym with Anthony, he was in charge of my workout and I would just like to say that it was awful. He kept saying things like "Noo, just do 5 more minutes or 3 more reps". I was dying as I walked out.

This time, he just helped me when I didn't know how to work the machines (which was every time I used any machine). Which meant the work out wasn't a push-myself-until-my-legs-fall-off-or-lungs-fall-out type thing.

I did 15 minutes of the bike, 10 minutes on the arm thing, 10 minutes on the cross trainer and another 10 minutes on the bike to finish. It doesn't sound like much but it's a start! I need to remember to take a drink with me next time though, I was practically dust as I left.

Also, who knew your legs could actually turn to jelly when you're walking back to the car?

I didn't.

Until today.

week one and week two.

2012-01-18T09:42:00.001Z

spending Saturday evenings with Anthony is the best fun, especially if it's to cheer me up before an night in work.
the kind of loving/cute texts I get off my boyfriend.
secret photos of me finishing my shift in work (mopping the bar floor) ending up on Twitter.
7pm shifts in work that don't get busy until 9/half 9.
a surprise meal for my Grandma's birthday.
Mum's delicious roast dinners!
nights of revision for January exams.
going back to my revision tradition of playing the entire Friends series while I'm home during exam time.
trying to learn 43 idioms and 36 similar words for welsh..
essay writing in Welsh.
doing as well as (and better!) than Anthony at MW3.
psychology lessons.
getting bored and dressing up.
motivational words from my best friend.
I become such a poser when I'm bored.
my sister using her new iPhone for the first time!
a McDonalds opening 2 minutes (drive) and 5 minutes (walk) from my house? Heaven.

The Bird

2012-01-14T10:01:00.001Z

There once was a bird. She wasn't the most beautiful bird but her feathers were glossy, she had the sparkliest black eyes and she loved to fly. She loved the blue of the sky and the taste of the clouds and the way the moon light sang a lullaby to the world each night.

The bird would fly for hours on end, past rivers and fields and crickets, listening to the stories breathing around her.

Soon, she started listening more. And more. Sometimes, a love story could be heard. Those were good moments, happy moments. They let her fly and chirp and live in the sky.

But there were so many hate stories and angry stories and stories of jealousy, betrayal and revenge. Listening to those stories made the bird stay in the trees or on the ground. They stopped her from flying.

One day, an evil storyteller caught the bird and trapped her in a shiny silver cage. Frightened, she flew round and round and round, trying to reach the outside that seemed so cruelly close.

Her attempts at escape angered the storyteller so he threw a blanket of lies over the cage, keeping the bird from all the world.

It stayed like that for a very long time. One day, the storyteller moved on to a different story, forgetting all about the bird he left trapped.

After a while, with no one to make sure it didn't fall, the blanket slipped off the lonely bird's cage.

Delighted, she flew all around, drinking in the sights and smells, falling in love with the sky again.

It was a long time before she remembered the bars holding her in.

But, the bird was so happy to see the blue and hear the lullaby that she adjusted to her life in the cage, never really thinking that one day she'd leave.

Until a windy Thursday, when a young boy walked past her tree. He noticed the cage dangling there and stepped closer, his curiosity second only to his kindness. When he saw the little bird perched on her stand, his heart skipped a tiny heat.

He couldn't imagine the monster that would lock up such a little bird. He stood awhile, admiring her. Because, though she wasn't beautiful before, there lies a certain beauty in broken things and in his eyes, she was transformed.

He plucked up the courage to open the door to the cage. It had never been locked. The little bird had been so scared, she hadn't even noticed she could have escaped all along.

The bird could see this boy was kind but she was scared and at first didn't even come down to the door. When she finally did, it took the young boy a long time to convince her she really could leave.

At first she just sat on his hand and stared at her rescuer. He looked into her unusual eyes and could feel himself beginning to love this bird. Afraid of holding her too tightly lest she flee in fright, he supported her tiny body until she grew brave enough to fly away.

And one day, she did. She flew as high as she could, fill to bursting with happiness that she was finally free. Everything welcomed her back and she was free to love the sky.

On the ground, the young boy's heart slowly broke as he watched his little bird fly away.

She did return to him though. Not straight away and for the first few times, she kept a wary distance. She learnt to trust him eventually and boy and bird learnt to be free together. He did forget her cage sometimes and tried to hold her but each time she'd fly away, for how long neither knew. She always came back though. He was her home.

Student life..

2012-01-13T07:41:00.002Z

being a student isn't pretty at all.

it's sitting at home with piles of work instead of being out having fun. it's tears of frustration when you're trying your hardest and it doesn't seem to be working. it's 2am wide eyed stares as the fear of failing starts to kick in. it's sleepless nights, groggy mornings, feeling as though your crawling up a cliff face with a thousand fears strapped to your back. it's the 5 second daydreams of things you wish you were doing until the unrelenting white pages of writing stare you back into reality. it's hating your work, your exams, your teachers, everything and anything that is stopping you from doing your best or just from doing what you really wish you were doing.

it's holding a brown envelope knowing that the contents will determine the rest of your life. it's the feeling you get when you see those letters. it's all the work you put in to make sure those letters don't fill you with a crushing despair.

it's the hardest thing i've ever had to do and i just really, really, really want a break.

Photos Over the Holidays: Part II

2012-01-11T07:22:00.021Z

The picture Charlie set as my phone background..

The picture Chavers set as my lock screen..

After New Years, there were 3 big parties and 1 gig that we were all invited to. These photos are from the first party, our friend Holly's 18th birthday at Aura nightclub. I don't have any photos from the gig (only a video of the rugby boys singing the end of hometown) and I was working for the next two parties. I think these excellent shots of a sober me dancing are good enough to make up for my lack of pictures though. Such a brilliant night.

Photos Over the Holidays: Part I

2012-01-10T09:58:00.001Z

Me and Chavers drunk in the Sheaf.
Christmas decorations in Chepstow.
Anthony and Joel pretending to be boyfriend&boyfriend in the pub..
Christmas decorations that include fountains are so pretty.
If you see these pictures in order (there's 5 or 6) they tell the funniest story.
One of my Christmas presents off Charlie.
My fave.
It's slightly depressing that one of the most romantic pictures I have of my boyfriend is of him, drunk, pretending to kiss his friend at the pub.
We're just fit all the time.
Another present off Charlie.
Luke's face is just, the best thing in the world.
Making faces in the coffee shops.
Me and Natty B,slightly drunk..
Out for a coffee in Chepstow.
Mum likes to pull faces as well.
Isn't my boyfriend the prettiest?
The awesomest card Charlie's ever got (which I didn't even sign my name on, I just wrote "Da 1 n Onli" because I'm so cool). I also filled it with penguin jokes.
Playing around with instagram.
Everyone loves a bit of Natty B.
Love this guy. :)
Before we went to see Sherlock Holmes (a film I actually ended up crying with laughter because of. "Slow and steady wins the race!")

Revision can be kind of boring sometimes..

2012-01-09T19:26:00.000Z

Especially when you're just procrastinating.

Boxing Day

2012-01-07T10:19:00.002Z

Boxing Day was more of a relaxed day than Christmas Day, mainly because everyone was shattered. We had our Boxing Day lunch (the meat left over from the day before, Grandad's crinkly chips with beetroot, red cabbage and bread) and it was as delicious as ever. The children tried out more of their toys, including their new roller-skates and I am definitely not jealous and not trying to find my own.. We played two drawing competitions in the afternoon, one to find the funniest face and one to find the best Christmas tree. My Dad was the judge and he took it very very seriously, he wouldn't change his final decisions, even when my 5 year old cousin threw a little strop that he didn't win. We left at around 5 and as we drove away, being waved off by everyone in the doorway, I realised that this was actually the best Christmas ever.

Christmas Day

2012-01-06T08:57:00.003Z

Me, at 8am in the morning after being woken up to open my presents.

My Christmas card off my sister.

A new scrapbook!

Spending Christmas Day with young children makes it more magical than anything else. This year we spent Christmas Day in Birmingham with my Aunty and her family. My grandparents were there as well and it was 2 days filled with family, food and lots and lots of laughter. Watching the children open their presents, pose in the outdoor clothes and spending hours singing Christmas songs to us on the little "stage". I don't think I've ever had this much fun over Christmas, ever.

Mine and Anthony's Christmas Day

2012-01-04T09:47:00.000Z

The enevelope, front cover and inside of my sister's Christmas card to Anthony.

Since I had work on Christmas Eve and I was away for Christmas Day&Boxing Day, mine and Anthony's Christmas Day was on Christmas Eve eve. He opened his presents off my parents and my sister first before we went up to mine room to open our presents to each other. We'd put them under my little Christmas tree, after decorating it together (I didn't have a fairy or a star for the top of the tree so we put my Christmas card off Ant on there). I loved my presents off him: stickers (inside joke), £20 gift voucher, a bouquet of white roses, pencils with Romeo and Juliet quotes on them and a gorgeous ring I've wanted from Etsy. He loved (or at least appeared to love) the 2 money pots and the engraved zippo ("It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us" - Coach Carter). The rest of the day involved a rainy walk, a meal, a trip to blockbusters and cwtching up with a meal and sweets. It was the best day :)

2012

2012-01-02T10:29:00.001Z

Photos from my grandma's New Years Day party. (4) is my team (the Christmas Trees) playing the nursery rhyme game (similar to pictionary).

This year, I only want to have one New Year's Resolution and it's going to be the same as last year:

to be the happiest I can be while being the best that I can be.

It's the perfect resolution and it worked so well this year. It's hard to break because it's two things I strive for everyday and that's what I want from a resolution; a goal that isn't impossible to achieve.

I do think having goals for the year is a good idea, and it's always fun. In keeping with the whole number thing from the end of last year, I've got 12 things I want to have achieved by the end of this year:

I want to learn how to dance. Or at least take dancing lessons.
I want to improve my cooking skills (and be able to make more than crumpets and burnt toast).
I want to make new friends.
I want to be proud of my A Level results.
I want my first term in University to be successful.
I want to finish my summer 2010 scrapbook.
I want to be better at managing my money.
I want to be less lazy.
I want to be healthier, even if that means 1 piece of fruit a week or the gym every 2 months.
I want to learn to put my school work first.
I want to finish my "school memories" scrapbook.
I want to have lots of adventures.

Here's hoping I achieve it all. I hope you all had a magical new year and that 2012 is everything you want it to be!

New Years Eve

2012-01-02T02:20:00.000Z

I welcomed the new year in the village square, in a circle with my friends and with a kiss from my boyfriend. At quarter past 12, my sister got through to my phone and I was wished a Happy New Year by my sister, Dad and Mum.

2012 started perfectly.

Day 11: 11 things I've learnt this year.

2011-12-31T12:00:00.001Z

Happy Last Day of 2011 everyone! It feels strange to not be looking back over the year in this post, like last year.. I was going to somehow mention it quickly before I realised that that was what I have been doing over the past 10 days. Originally, this list was going to be what I was looking forward to most next year. I thought that 10 days of looking back was enough and that I should start looking forward. But then I thought that it wouldn't feel right (and it didn't feel right while trying to write it) to just ignore the year on it's very last day. 2011 has been one of the best years of my life. I've done so much this year, achieved so much and so it feels very fitting for my last post of this year to be a list of the things the year has taught me. I hope you all have a fantastic night and that the beginning of the New Year is as magical as it should be. See you in 2012, enjoy!

I needed to get a job. - I didn't really think I needed a job, just that having one would be a good thing to be able to put on my UCAS application. I was wrong. It turns out that, when you turn 1 and going out is an actual option, having money helps. Which means having a job helps. Who knew.
Compromise is hard.
I need a Sheldon in my life. - I am so completely, head over heels in love with Sheldon that whenever I watch the Big Bang Theory and I remember that I don't have him in my life, I get a little sad.
I shouldn't wait to do things. - Who knows what might happen. If I want to do something, I shouldn't let anything hold me back. Learning this was one of the most freeing experiences I've ever had. I wouldn't have half the memories I do have if I'd let something as silly as "I'm afraid of heights" or "What will they think?" stop me. Seizing the moment is incredible.
I need to learn to manage money. - I have none but I have a job. WHERE DOES IT ALL GO?!
My resolutions should be more like this year's. - This year's resolution was the best one I've ever had. It's flexible enough that it didn't have the horrible weighty feeling that normal resolutions do and following it was so much fun, I've kept it up all year long.
Growing up isn't essential, maturity is. - I'm sure someone (Anthony) will disagree with this thinking but anyway. I was always worried that when you hit 18 (or adulthood) you'd have to grow up. There would be no more messing around or doing childish things, it would just be grown up stuff all the time. And then I turned 18 and lots of things made me realise this wasn't the case, from magazine articles to a few wise words from a blogger. I learnt that I didn't need to "grow up" as such. I could still dress up in stupid outfits or skip places or dance whenever I wanted to or play tag. Giving up on those things didn't make me an adult, it made my life a lot less fun. Becoming an adult, to me anyway, is more about recognising that you can still have fun or be a child at heart but that you need to be serious and mature about the important aspects of life. You need to be responsible and take responsibility and learning that was so refreshing. I was worried I'd be stuck moaning about taxes in a grey suit for the rest of my life.
Nothing beats having your Mum there when you're ill.
My capacity to hate English can actually grow.
Balance is important. - All I had written in my notebook for this was "Balance". When I came to write this post, I looked at my scribble and thought "What the hell? Why haven't I written more? I could have at least given myself a clue. Balance what? What am I supposed to write about that?!" I toyed with the idea of just thinking of a new thing but I knew I'd written it for a reason so I just kept trying to remember. I'm not sure I actually remembered exactly what I'd wanted to write but what I've come up with is that I meant balance in all aspects of life. Balance between social life and work life. Balance between friends and family. Balance between boyfriend and everything else. Balance of food (at the moment, it is heavily on the side of junk food). Balance between fun and serious. Balance between happy and sad. I've learnt this year that it's important to have the balance between things in your life, too much of one thing can be harmful, even if that thing is something as fun as well.. fun. You need some serious, some sad, some willpower but you don't want too much. I'm still trying to find that balance but knowing I need to is at least further than I was last year.
I don't have it all figured out. - And that's OK.

Day 10: 11 Things I'm Looking Forward to in 2012

2011-12-30T10:04:00.001Z

Going to University.
Going to Year 13 Prom.
Going to see Blink 182 in concert with Charlie.
Going to see Michael McIntyre.
No more English lessons!!!!!!!!!!
Going on holiday with the girls.
Going to New York with the school.
Going on holiday with Anthony (hopefully).
Charlie turning 18 (and her night out!)
Having a couple of months of freedom after exams.
No more A Level exams!!!!!!!

Day 9: 11 Differences

2011-12-29T11:36:00.032Z

This year, when I think back over it, feels so.. full. So much has changed and I feel like such a different person. So much has happened as well, I've done more this year than I think I ever have (at least it feels that way anyway). You'd think then, that making a list of 11 differences between now and then would be easy but nope, you'd be wrong. I think I got to about 7 and started drawing blanks. I left the list for a couple of days and when I came back, thankfully, I noticed a few things that I'd missed. Here's the 11:

I'm 18. - So I'm an adult now. I can buy alcohol, vote, enter competitions.. It's weird to think that I could do whatever I want. 2 years and I turn 20.. It's scary!
I have 2 less teeth. - So I had 2 teeth taken out this year. It's the first time I've ever had it done and, because of my fear of dentists, I had it done as a kind of operation meaning it was the first time I've ever had anaesthetic as well. Coming round was the funniest thing ever. It's like being drunk without the ill feelings.
I have a boyfriend. - And he's the best.
I have a job. - **dream job.
I can drive. - I spent the last half of last year learning to drive and finally, this April, I passed my driving test. At first, driving on my own was scary and kind of lonely but I've gotten used to it now. I did think that I'd forget to drive in the month that we were in America for. I didn't but it was the weirdest experience ever.
I want to be a psychologist. - Last year I went from wanting to be a translator/interpreter to wanting to be a writer (or at the very least, I wanted to take a degree in English literature). Then, after a couple of months of psychology, I started to think that maybe this is what I should be doing. This year (and my two A's) have really confirmed that. This is the career path for me.
My relationship with my family. - It's weird, the older I get, the closer to my family I get. Me and my Mum and me and my sister are basically best friends, we get on so much better than when I was younger.
Moving out. - I know I'm not moving out now or even until next September but it's so much closer than ever before. I've never really thought about it before, I mean, it's always been something that was going to happen in the future. Now though, it's more of a countdown. I'll be leaving here in just over 9 months and then that's it. This will no longer be my one and only home. I'll be living at uni, coming home only to visit and then I'll have my own home and my own life and it's frightening.
Last year of school. - Last year I was facing the last year in school but in a different way. It was my last compulsory year but I knew I was coming back (with all of my friends) so it was sad because it meant growing up and saying goodbye to pretty much carefree schooling.. This year though, I actually am facing my last ever year in my school. In May, we go on study leave and basically, never come back. I've spent 7 years of my life at this school, spending almost as much time here as at home. Not coming here everyday is going to be one of the strangest things ever..
Learning about myself. - At the end of last year, I thought I had myself pretty figured out. At the end of this year, I know that I have a lot to learn.
Who I am. - I am so different now to how I was last year. I'm more comfortable in myself, I don't really care about the opinions of other people and I'm more confident. I've cut a lot of crap out of my life, mainly one huge rubbish bit that I really didn't need and I'm so much happier. I take more risks and I don't let myself hold back, if I want to do something, I'll do it. I've started ignoring my fears or the stupid voice that tries to stop me and I do what makes me happy. 2011 has been such an amazing year for figuring out who I am.

Day 8: 11 Things I'm Grateful For

2011-12-28T09:59:00.000Z

Visiting America - My parents paid for a 1 month trip to America this summer. It really was the holiday of a life time.
New York 2012 - My Mum has paid for me to be able to visit New York with the school next year, something I wouldn't have been able to do myself. I'm so so so glad she did, I want to go back so badly.
School + University - Kind of weird but after watching a few people drop out of school and seeing their lives going nowhere, I am so so glad that I'm getting an education that will enable me to go to University and make myself a life doing something I love.
Deputy Head - I was voted as one of the Deputy Head Girls this year, something I was genuinely surprised at. I didn't think anyone would vote for me.
My Job - I have my dream job (aside from becoming a psychologist).. Need I say more?
My Xbox - My DVD player on my TV broke during March some time and if it wasn't for my Xbox, I would have been doomed to watching crappy Daytime/weekend TV.
My Friends - Chavers, Nat, Joe, Luke, Jon.. They make school (and being behind the bar at parties) that much more bearable.
Charlie - Keeping me sane since we were 5 years old.
Anthony - He's amazing and I don't think my life would be half as fun if he wasn't in it.
My Family - Lottie, Dad, Grandma, Grandad, Uncle Brian+co, Uncle Mark+co.. Keeping me laughing and feeling loved.
My Mum - You don't realise how completely brilliant this woman is. I'd be lost if she wasn't around.

Day 7: 11 Favourite Moments

2011-12-27T09:25:00.000Z

2011 has been an unbelievably full year. From my first 'A' Level exam to going to America for the first time, so much has happened that picking my 11 favourite moments was incredibly hard. The 11 I've chosen are the one's that stood out the most as I was writing it:

Being asked out by Anthony.
Getting my job. - In case I haven't mentioned it before, I work in the local rugby club as a barmaid. Anthony keeps calling this the jammiest thing ever. This is because for the last year all I said was that I would love to work there (serving rugby men? hello heaven), it was the only job I actually wanted. My "applying for jobs" was basically just a week or two of applying to jobs and an unsuccessful job interview for McDonalds (I still think it's because I was too qualified for the job). The day after I turned 18 (the age you need to be to be able to be a barmaid), I went to the club to watch a rugby match with Anthony. I went to the bar to buy myself a cider and black and this happened: Me "Can I have a cider and black please?" Nigel "Would you like a job?". I didn't even need to ask, I went for a drink and ended up with my dream job. Best moment.
The first bite of British food after getting home from America. - I have the world's worst appetite. My diet consists of junk food, junk food, junk food and "real food" is so alien to my stomach that it makes me feel kind of ill. This only gets worse in hot weather where I eat almost nothing (compared to my usual snacking through the day with 1 meal in the evening). Now put me in Florida where there's a heat wave, in the middle of August for 2 weeks. I lost so much weight (I'm pretty small anyway) that it was ridiculous. It wasn't until New York (there was a McDonalds directly opposite my hotel) that I started to put weight back on. Now, coming home and finding a costa coffee right outside our gate in the airport was almost too good to be true. As we were waiting for our bus, Mum bought me a ham and cheese panini. Eating bread and ham and cheese (real food!) after a month of being too hungry was so fantastic I could have cried.
Seeing Glee in concert.
The midnight showing of Harry Potter Deathly Hallows: Part 2. - I first read Harry Potter when I was 8 years old, a couple of weeks after I saw the first film. Since then I have loved the books almost as if they were real friends. I've never really liked the films but after my Dad fell in love with the books and began watching the films (which he ultimately came to prefer), it's become "our thing". Next to visiting Harry Potter land with him, going to see the last film at the midnight showing was one of the best moments of this year. We went to buy the last book at midnight as well and it was just the most perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood.
Passing my driving test.
Visiting New York for the first time. - The only way I can describe it is that, in a way, it felt like I had come home.
Getting my first University offer.
Turning 18.
Visiting America for the first time.
Getting an 'A' in my first Psychology exam. - Better explained here. :)

Day 6: 11 Favourite Photos

2011-12-26T11:10:00.000Z

This is from a Wild and West party that me and Charlie went to. Such a funny night! I love this photo so much, I love our outfits!

For Anthony's 18th birthday weekend (his birthday was the Monday but he learnt from me, you keep your birthday celebrations going for as long as possible) we went to stay with his sister in her uni house. We went out for the night and when we got back, I had these giant glasses. This was the first night that I'd been out clubbing since I had turned 18, first time I'd gone out partying (woowoo) with Ant and it was an amazing weekend. :)

I don't actually remember this photo being taken. We had gone to our friend Joel's house and spontaneously started playing drinking games. What followed was an absolutely hilarious night, which unfortunately had 2 rather embarrassing videos of me and Charlie..

We went to my friend Naomi's house for a house party earlier this year. Randomly, at about 10/half 10, we decided that getting into Naomi's swimming pool was a good idea. It wasn't as cold as we were worried it would be (although I think the cider and black helped with that..) and it was one of the best house parties I've been to. There were about 12 of us in the pool and at one point, Charlie managed to fall into the pool (head under and everything) but by holding her drink in the air, she managed to save it. Funniest thing. :)

This right here is me and Charlie being sexy. There's a lot of reasons I love this photo (the main one of course being how well it shows off our sexiness). It was a day that we had to help out the Year 9's (our school had a week of different activities, rock climbing being one of them). We'd finished our exams and we were in just to mess around and have fun when Harriet decided she wanted a go at climbing the wall. I think it took the rest of us about 5/10 minutes before we decided we had to have a go. It was a hilarious experience, I couldn't jump to the ground properly so I just kind of floated down until I ended up on my bum. Another reason is that I had decided around this time to start doing new things and as someone who has a fear of falling (or heights, I'm not sure what) and who had started to slightly care what others think of her, I was really proud that I'd managed to actually do this. The final reason is that this was taken around the time that me and Anthony were starting to maybe have something happening and it reminds me of how happy and excited I was then. :)

I love this photo. Obvious statement since it's on my list but I love how we're all dancing and how happy we all look. It's me with two of my favourite people, something that hasn't happened in a very long time (I haven't seen Harriet in a couple of months) and so this photo has a nostalgic element to it as well. It's just nice to look at it and remember how fun the evening at Charlie's was and how much I enjoyed spending time with the girls (Chavs and Alice were there as well). Such a good evening :)

We met Elliot and Megan about 9 years ago on holiday, when my younger sister and Megan decided to become friends. Since then, we have met up as 2 families every couple of years. It's crazy that we're all still in touch seeing as we only met on holiday, through a 6 year old and a 5 year old. This photo is from this summer when they came down to visit us. We went to Cardiff shopping and then went to the Bay in the evening for an Italian. The meal was so funny, the 4 of us were sat at the end of the table and we spent the evening just messing around and being childish. I love this photo because of all that and because it just reminds me of all of the times we've met up and how amazing it is that we all still get on, even though we're almost 10 years older than when we first met.

After spending about 3 days in a mood with everyone in my house (because I got an iPhone and she wanted one), my sister's mood finally improved on the Saturday and she was actually interested in my phone and having a conversation. What followed was a funny few minutes of face-pulling and photo taking. My favourite is this one. I love my sister so much and I love how we look in this and it's a nice reminder of that day. :)

I have just over 1700 photos from the month we spent in America but since my laptop is broken, I've only been able to upload about 70 from our time in Florida. My sister's been able to upload all of hers and when I was looking through them, I found this one. I like it because, quite frankly, I think it's an awesome photo. My Mum managed to catch the jump perfectly (my sister refused to jump). I just love that the Universal thing is in the background and it's me and my sister and in Florida. It's one of the best photos from the trip and it reminds me of all the good times we had over there. :)

10.

While in Florida, my sister fell in love with theme parks. I suggested that, once we're home and after my birthday, the 3 of us could go to a theme park over here. At the end of September, I drove us 2 hours away to Drayton Manor. We spent the Friday evening visiting our Aunty and her family, the Saturday in Drayton Manor and then out for a meal and then the Sunday was another meal and then home. It was an amazing weekend. I loved looking after Lottie and being away with Anthony and the theme park and the food were brilliant. This photo makes me laugh as well because I mean, look at Ant's face.

11.

I'm not going to get all lovey-dovey on why I love this photo so I'll explain this photo with this: Ant is my favourite person ever and he makes me happier than I've ever been. Because of that, and how cute he looks kind of hidden behind me, this is my favourite photo of this year. :)

Day 5: 11 Favourite Posts

2011-12-25T12:05:00.001Z

Firstly, MERRY CHRISTMAS! I don't have to work today so we're going to my Aunty's to spend the day with them and my grandparents. I hope you all have a fantastic day and that it's filled with love and family!

I haven't blogged that much this year (compared to last year) so looking through all of my posts to find my 11 favourite didn't take too long. The problem wasn't how long it took, it was the posts I had to choose from. I'm not saying I hate every single post I've written but I couldn't decide which 11 I wanted on my list. After rereading a lot, I've finally come up with this list:

Haiku
My last Reason to be Happy
Tuesday Afternoon - This might seem like an odd post to be one of my favourites but it just makes me happy, thinking back to that afternoon, it was fun in such a simple way and made a rubbish day a good one. :)
Day 06 - Nanny Bron
Day 07 - Mum
Dream - I don't usually record my dreams (they are usually so weird, I'd either be locked up or just avoided forever) but this one was so real.. I woke up thinking it had either happened or we had planned it to happen. I was so sad when I realised neither was true, I wrote it here, just to have a moment of believing I actually had had this perfect day.
Psychology Fun - "Invite to party on a wall" Almost 4 months on and this still makes me laugh.
I want - I'd forgotten about this post until I read it when I was trying to make this list and at first, I was just going to ignore it. I mean, it's not something that's happened and the title alone is just a selfish sentence but then I noticed the last sentence and I decided to include it because it's nice to be reminded of a wish that came true.
Rosemary Urquico - "You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She'll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are." Ever found a quote that so perfectly describes you, if you were a better writer/speaker, you could have written it? This is mean. This may as well began with "here is a detailed description of Chloe Winstone... enjoy." I am so so so in love with this, even now.
The Perfect Future for Me - I had so much fun writing this post, I'm actually quite proud of it as well. :):)
Parents Evening - Nothing better than a little ego boost ;)

Day 4: 11 Favourite Books

2011-12-24T11:45:00.001Z

I have to be honest.. Without books, I would not be able to survive.

There just isn't a world that would be worth living in without books. Not being able to escape into someone else's world, go on adventure's that just aren't possible in reality.. There are love stories to be lived, villains to be defeated, new world's to explore.

Even though school never fails to get in the way (and English A Level did mean I couldn't read what I wanted) I've still managed to read more than anything else. Here's my 11 of 2011 (just know that picking my favourite books from this year was like picking people I didn't want to die. Leaving the others out was heartbreaking and I feel awful):

The Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins - Everyone on the internet was going crazy for the first book and at first, I thought they were just exaggerating or, at it's worst, I thought it might have been another Twilight fiasco. Eventually though, I got over myself and bought the first book. 3 days later, I was desperately begging my mum to buy me the 2nd book. The 3rd book kept me up at night, I was close to tears in school and when I did finish it (in the early hours of the morning a few days after I bought it) I pretty much just sobbed. I cried for the ending, for the characters that had died (that I'd loved), because it was over.. And mainly, I cried because this trilogy had reignited my love of reading. Taking A Level English had had a noticeable effect on how much I was reading (nothing) and how much I was enjoying it (not at all). After these books, my love of reading was reawakened and I started to devour books (albeit slower than before) with just as much enjoyment. Anyone who loves reading needs to read these books.
Eragon - Christopher Paolini
The Reader - Bernhard Schlink
Looking for Alaska - John Green - I don't think I was meant to but I fell in love with Alaska. I think John Green is going to be one of those authors I don't want to like because they make me think a lot but he's such a good writer that I'll read them no matter how much time I spend analysing my life or my attitudes afterward. - "But the not-knowing would not keep me from caring, and I would always love Alaska Young, my crooked neighbour, with all my crooked heart."
To Kill A Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
The Noughts and Crosses Series - Malorie Blackman - I'm not sure I've ever read books that have broken my heart the way these did. I wanted to stop reading (which is what I usually do when something I don't like happens in a book I'm reading. It's my way of punishing it/getting over the ordeal) but I just couldn't. Malorie is an incredibly talented storyteller. These books changed me.
The Colour Purple - Alice Walker
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
The Passage - Justin Cronin - The ending to this.. I can't even explain. I just seem to be drawn to books that either break my heart or break every preconception I ever had. This book was actually nothing like how I thought it would be but it was just all the better for it.
A Game of Thrones - George R. R. Martin

Day 3: 11 Favourite Films

2011-12-23T08:18:00.000Z

I love films, whether I'm watching them at home or at the cinema. I love being able to cwtch up in bed with my boyfriend; drinking dr pepper, eating pizza or chinese or random junk food. I love going to the cinema as well. There's something exciting about driving there and buying popcorn, finding the perfect seat and waiting for the lights to go down. The best bit, and the bit that never changes no matter where I am, is becoming lost in someone else's story, someone else's idea.

Having an unlimited card means I go to the cinema quite a lot. It was kind of hard to pick 11 of my favourite films from this year (mainly because I couldn't remember which films I had seen this year and which I just remember rewatching). I finally managed it, so here's the 11:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 - I went to the midnight showing of this and it was just perfect. We clapped when it finished, cheered when Mrs Weasley shouted "Not my daughter you bitch!" and when Snape dies, the cinema was silent and all you could hear was people sniffing as they cried. I went to see it with my Dad and it was just the most amazing way to say goodbye to my childhood.
The Inbetweeners
Winnie the Pooh - I cried when this started. I don't know how to explain the feeling you get when you watch a childhood favourite film again. It was the most surreal experience, watching characters I once considered my friends 14 years older than when I last saw them.
Water for Elephants - This film was beautiful.
Real Steel
Thor
Immortals
In Time - I was worried for about 3 days that my time was going to run out and I was going to die. I woke up and instantly tried to think of a way to get more time. I also have to say, for a film that has Justin Timberlake and Alex Pettyfer in it, there are no where near enough topless scenes. I'll admit some of my suggestions were a bit stupid (like suggesting he could have taken off his top during the arm wrestle scene) but so!
Bridesmaids - When she's driving past him trying to get his attention? "Hey look, there's nobody driving that car!" I cried. Literally cried.
Your Highness
Battle: Los Angeles

Day 2: 11 Favourite Blogs

2011-12-22T12:53:00.001Z

I absolutely love these blogs. Reading them is one of my favourite things to do and having reader on my iPhone means that I can catch up any time I want. I never knew you could learn so much from someone else's words and experiences.. I owe them a lot.

Day 1: 11 Favourite Randoms

2011-12-21T10:40:00.019Z

This is a list of 11 things that have happened this year that didn't make it on to my other 10 lists but that were important enough for me to keep thinking about them (and to keep trying to organise them into a list). I thought it was a perfect start to the countdown seeing as this year has been so varied and crazy that this list was kind of a reflection of that. Enjoy :)

Pottermore - While I was in America, Anthony and Charlie made me a Pottermore account. It was the best surprise, coming home and being able to log on to Pottermore, especially since being in America meant the opportunity to sign up was over by the time I got home.
iPhone - After spending about 7 years saying I hate Apple, I finally got an iPhone. As much as I hate to admit it, it is pretty awesome. Even if Siri won't be my friend or let me call him Robert.
Broken Laptop - My laptop broke in July. I know, I know, why would that be one of my favourite things that has happened this year? Well, it's not. What is my favourite thing is that I haven't had to go without a laptop because Anthony lent me one. :)
The Big Bang Theory + How I Met Your Mother - This is the year that I discovered my complete love for these programmes. Me + Anthony are currently in the process of buying the complete series' on DVD. I could watch them over and over again (which I am actually doing).
Bowling - Turns out that, not only is bowling just as much fun as it was when I was little, I'm still pretty good at it. The bowling trips this year have been loads of fun.
Quiz Night - Our new Sunday tradition is definitely one of the highlights of the week. Especially with exams and revision going on.
Harry Potter Lego: Year 5 - 7 - I know this is an xbox game but the first one was awesome and I'm so excited to get this for Christmas..
Fruit Ninja - Turns out there is actually a game that I am as good as Anthony at. He's still trying to beat one of my high scores. Woo!
Domino's - Ever since my first Domino's pizza in March, I have been in love. They actually know me in our local domino's, I go there so often..
Instagr.am - One of my favourite apps. Download it (it's free!) and follow me: chloemorganw
Student Card - I finally got myself a student card which means lots of discounts at lots of shops. Helloooo money saving!

p.s. I mentioned in this post that I'd keep you updated. Well... I've had 4 offers so far. :) 4 conditionals for Lincoln, Cardiff, Swansea and Sussex. I'm just waiting on Kent then it's time to start visiting Applicant Days. And then of course, it's time to pick 2.. Maybe I started freaking out too early?

11 days for 2011

2011-12-20T10:00:00.001Z

Since I love lists (and I need to spend every waking moment revising) I've decided to do an 11 day countdown to 2012. Over the next 11 days, I've queued one post a day, each containing a list of 11 items. Each list is different, summarising 2011 in a different way each time. I thought this was a cool way to countdown the year and thought that it would be a nice way of still keeping the blog active while I lose myself in all of my revision.

On that slightly depressing note, enjoy the next 11 days. I'll see you in the new year!! :):)

Chinese at grandma's.

2011-12-19T10:24:00.003Z

This weekend, my Aunty Victoria and her family (Uncle Justin, Finlay and Daisy), have come down to stay with my Grandparents. When they're here, we always have a Chinese on a Saturday evening. I'm usually in work so I've missed a lot of these. I've had this weekend off though which meant that I could go on Saturday. Anthony had the night off as well and since my grandparents are in love with him, he was of course invited along.

My grandparents have put up all of their Christmas decorations so it is unbelievably Christmassy in their bungalow. When we weren't eating, we were all sat in the living room either watching Strictly Come Dancing or watching Finlay and Daisy singing us songs (complete with adorable dance moves).

At one point, Anthony and my grandad started having a conversation about the finalists in Strictly. I had no idea Anthony even knew about this programme so listening to him talk about which dancer was the best was so surprising, I just started laughing.

My grandparents whipped out their embarrassing conversations at the end of the night. This is where they say things that are going to make me need to have therapy later in life. I'm used to it now though (it's hilarious) but poor Anthony has never experienced it before. As someone who dies when anything awkward/embarrassing happens, listening to my grandad tell my grandma she was like a piece of mutton almost killed him.

Bowling part 2

2011-12-18T14:33:00.001Z

After the bowling, me, Anthony and Lottie walked down into the Bay for a meal. I have a secret love for burgers so when we were trying to decide where to eat, I was trying to telepathically make them choose the gourmet burger kitchen.. I was successful. Burgers here we come!

The last time me or Anthony had eaten here was early last year so I was a bit worried I might not like the food.. I needn't have worried. The burgers were better than I remembered (and thankfully not as huge).

With our burgers (I had the scrummiest plain beef burger I've had since Memphis), we also had a side of skinny fries with rosemary. I don't usually have herbs with my food (I am not what you would call an adventurous or even exciting eater) so I wasn't sure if having these chips was a good idea. To my surprise, the chips were actually made more delicious with the hint of rosemary added to them. I didn't eat any of the leaves mind, I 1) wasn't sure if you were meant to and 2) didn't want to overdo this new carefree approach I was taking to my chips.

After our food (and after our waiter had run after us because Lottie had left Dora on the seat), we walked the very very very cold 5 minutes back to the car. Well, I walked. Anthony and Lottie skipped and at one point, Lottie practically skidded some of the way. I have to say, I absolutely love the Bay at night. It's so pretty, especially with all the Christmas lights!

When we got home, Ant and Lottie had a fight of messing up each others hair. You wouldn't think he was 18 would you? They were both very proud of the destruction of the others hair, although Anthony did tidy his up before this photo..

Bowling part 1

2011-12-18T10:46:00.001Z

On Friday we finished school at lunch time (Yay Christmas holidays!) so, after my deputy head girl duties (which were just me standing freezing in the cold for 15 minutes before being told I could go home), Anthony drove me, him and my sister to Cardiff Bay so that we could go bowling.

We played 2 games and after a shaky start (the girls on the next lane were awful - one bowled on her lane and it somehow landed on our lane ruining my sister's first go), the competition began.

My sister is surprisingly good at bowling. By that I mean, she didn't go much when she was younger and for someone who basically leisurely rolls the ball down the lane, she gets a lot of spares..

Anthony is unbelievably competitive at this as well. Not that that is surprising, he makes everything into a challenge/competition. He was getting all grumpy because he wasn't doing that well (Lottie was winning until the very end of the first round when I sneakily got more points). Fortunately for him though, I gave him a tip on how to bowl and from then he had 5 strikes. Hello, person who is clearly amazing at bowling and everything in the whole world. (me).

After our games, we went and played in the arcade. Remember last time with the tickets? Well, it was another repeat of that. He won 150 tickets in one round of a game. We spend so much money in there, it's unreal.. My sister did win a teddy bear on one of the claw machines though. She loves Dora (even if she did almost leave it in the restaurant).

Not content on beating each other at bowling (Anthony ended up with 161 in the 2nd round, compared to my 99 and Lottie's 91), they played a game of air hockey. Another game Lottie is surprisingly good at. Anthony won but for a while, it was a pretty close game..

This week by iPhone.

2011-12-11T16:09:00.000Z

1. Starbucks with the boyf.

2. A cute little paper present off Chavers.

3. Cinema to Immortals (which I loved btw!)

4. A drawing I did for Chavers on her maths past paper, out of luff.

5. Katie's deformed butterfly, drawn in English (instead of writing our essay..)

6. Using my new iPhone (and her new iPod) to FaceTime!

7. Winning lots and lots of ticket in the arcade with the boyf. :):)

8. Sitting with the family around a log fire, swapping stories and presents.

1. PhotoTime in English with Katie.

2. Using my old laptop again, after it being broken since June/July (and having to connect it up to my TV because the screen is so broken)

3. Spending lots of time with the boyf (and laughing the whole time)

4. Remember I mentioned applying to Universities? I had my first off this week, from Lincoln!

5. My beautiful mother celebrated her birthday yesterday. Happy Birthday Mum, Love you!

Christmas shopping.

2011-12-10T18:40:00.000Z

Yesterday, I went Christmas shopping with Anthony.

It was the best day. I love shopping, I love Cardiff and I love spending time with Anthony. Win win really!

We got to Cardiff at about 11. After a couple of hours of shopping, we had a Starbucks break. I can't even remember the last time I had a coffee so it was like heaven in my mouth. We stayed in Starbucks playing games for a bit as well. I'd say it was fun but Anthony won every time. He's actually banned off all our friends' phones/iPods because he always beats everyone's high scores. Taking stupid pictures was funny though :):)

I actually discovered a brand new shop that I am now completely in love with. Anthony left me in there for a while so he could go buy my Christmas presents (YAY!).

We caught a bus down to the Bay at 4, so we could play in the arcade and have a meal.

The lights were turning on as we went down the Bay and it just looked so pretty!

We played for tickets in the arcade and after spending almost a tenner each, we ended up with about 390 tickets. Carrying them over to the ticket machine was hilarious.

We ended up eating in an Italian restaurant. I've eaten there before and I loved it just as much this time as I did the first time. After dinner, we went back into Cardiff to do some more shopping.

We got the train at about 10 to 8, came home and cwtched up in the warm to watch a film.

Best day I've had in a while :):)

University Applications

2011-12-07T07:10:00.000Z

So, on Thursday, I sent off my university applications. I am now terrified.

I've applied to Cardiff, Swansea, Lincoln, Sussex and Kent. Cardiff and Kent have already emailed me to tell me that they've received my application..

It won't be long before they start sending me offers (or declining me). I'm just so scared. I have a back-up plan in case they all so no. I'm going to move abroad and live there. I don't have a plan how to deal with it or what to do if the 3 I reaaaaally want to go to say no..

I'll keep you updated on here, mainly because I'll need this to either celebrate or try to reason my sadness away. Here's hoping it's the first option..

Tuesday afternoon.

2011-12-06T17:21:00.004Z

Me and Anthony finished early today and since I was in a lot of pain and feeling pretty rubbish, we came home to mine, cwtched up and watched Outnumbered.

There really isn't anything better than boyfriend cwtches when you're ill, especially when you have popcorn + dr pepper. :)

A Sunday Tradition

2011-12-05T07:54:00.002Z

Every Sunday, me, Ant and a group of our friends go to the local pub for quiz night.

I'll admit, a lot of the questions are beyond us (seeing as they're based on things that happened before we were born). Even so, it's such a laugh.

It's nice to be together in a setting that isn't a party or a Friday night. There's room for talking and jokes and lots of laughing.

We've never won and the one time we almost won the second to last prize, we drew second to last and lost the decider question (how many pints are in a hogs head? - we were imagining a hollowed out hogs head, not realising it's a unit of measure..) but even so, it's my favourite new tradition. :)

Deffro'r Gwanwyn

2011-12-04T18:43:00.002Z

On Friday, I went to the Millennium Centre to see the play Spring Awakening (Deffro'r Gwanwyn). The play was completely in Welsh (luckily though, there was a screen with English subtitles on otherwise I would have been almost completely lost).

I've never seen or really heard of this play before. The closest I've got to knowing anything about it is one of the characters on 90210 sang "mother who bore me" in the first season.

I have to admit, the first half was incredibly raunchy. Anybody who follows me will know what I mean, I spent the interval tweeting in complete shock.

The second half changed my opinion completely. I wanted to scream when Wendla's mother takes her to the underground practitioner and when Melchior learns the truth, all I wanted to do was hug him and cry.

This is an incredible play. It makes you think and question almost everything... The story is so sad but it's so well written.

What made it really memorable was the actors' singing. I can't begin to explain how good they were at singing. It was haunting, I wish I could buy a CD of them.

I definitely want to see this play again (preferably in English) and if you get he chance to see it, you should go. I promise you won't regret it.

Revision

2011-12-04T18:35:00.001Z

Revision is such a bore. I wish Kant hadn't made his theory, there's so much to it..

sister timeeee.

2011-12-03T18:12:00.001Z

I love it when my sister's in a good mood. She's the best of fun and we get on so well.

She's been in such a bad mood the past 2 days because she wants an iPhone and I have one. Today though, she finally took an interest in my phone and we had a funny 5 minutes using the camera (and she managed to frape me).

sell out.

2011-12-03T10:49:00.001Z

I caved.

Earlier this year, after claiming I'd never get a blackberry, I got one. And now, after years of saying I hate Apple and everything they sell (I mean, I don't even have a working iPod)... I got an iPhone. An iPhone 4 S in fact.

As bad as I feel bad about my poor blackberry, sitting on my windowsill, cold, waiting for the day I've transferred everything over and I sell it, I have to say, my phone is beautiful.

I'm blogging off it right now! And I have all these apps (played angry birds for the first time ever last night! - I'm not that good at it but hey, who cares, it's there!) and I've got a newsstand with magazines in it.. This is just so exciting!

Poor poor lonely blackberry though :(

Day 1: 11 Favourite Randoms

2011-12-01T10:56:00.000Z

I decided to start of the 11 days of lists with a list of my favourite random things from 2011.

These were the things that didn't really fit in the other 10 lists but they're still important enough from the year for me to want to mention them. Enjoy. :)

Having a Pottermore account made for me (by Anthony and Charlie) while I was in America so I could be part of it before it went public.
Getting an iPhone (after hating Apple for the best part of the last 7 years..)
Anthony giving me a laptop to use after mine broke in July (because he's the sweetest).
Discovering a new love for The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother and buying the DVDs with Anthony so that we have a complete collection of both.
Rediscovering bowling and finding that I don't actually suck at it.
Starting a Quiz night tradition with my friends.
Harry Potter Lego: Years 5 - 7 being released (and getting it for Christmas.. hopefully).
Fruit Ninja - the only game that I am as good as Anthony at. (He's still trying to beat one of my high scores)
Discovering Domino's. Need I say more?
Getting instagr.am for my iPhone and falling in love with it. (if you have it, follow me! chloemorganw)
Getting a student card which means I get a bunch of discounts at a whole load of my favourite stores.. Helloooooo money saving!

Christmas presents..

2011-12-01T10:11:00.000Z

I would just like to tell you how absolutely annoying it is to buy my boyfriend a present that he'll like.

I've been best friends with him for 5 years and with him for 4 months and I still have absolutely no idea what to get him when I buy him presents. Don't think I don't know him (which I think is what he thinks) because I do. It's just that, he never talks about stuff that he wants. And when he does (and I finally think YES I CAN BUY HIM THAT!) he goes and buys it for himself. So I can never surprise him because I have to ask him what he wants or tell him not to buy something so that I can get it.

This Christmas, we've gone for the first one. He's told me the 2 things that he wants and all I have to do is buy them. Simple right? Wrong.

One of the presents he wants is an engraved zippo. He's so bloody awkward! A zippo would be fine, I can do that easily. But engraved? I thought maybe he'd like a quote from his favourite film on there. I asked him but no, his favourite quote is too long.

He wants me to write something personal. I have 30 characters to work with..

There's no way I can fit anything meaningful into 30 characters.. I thought about maybe writing what he means to me but well, where to start? He's my favourite person in the entire world.. He's who I go to when I'm sad, he's the one who makes me happy.. He knows absolutely everything about me. We have so much fun when we're together and he's still not bored with me, not even after all these years. I tell him everything. I feel so safe when I'm with him, secure and content. I love everything about him, everything. How cute he looks with his braces, "boom", how he makes me laugh, this absolutely adorable smile he does when he looks at me, his eyes when he wakes up, "come back", this annoying habit he has of sticking his finger in my mouth every time I yawn, the way he buys me presents, how perfectly my head fits on his chest, how comfy he is, how much we make each other laugh... He's my best friend and I am so much happier now than I ever have been.. So can you see my dilemma? How am I meant to fit that into 30 characters?

I'm tempted to just write "You're ite." on it. That sums everything up pretty well I think..

Psychology fun

2011-11-30T19:04:00.001Z

A while ago in Psychology, we did a small experiment to test memory and recall. The original experiment was done by a psychologist called Bartlett, to show how memories could be distorted by existing knowledge. He used a North American folk tale called "The War of the Ghosts". Basically, you have to listen to the story, tell the story to another person and so on. Mr Webb (my Psychology teacher) thought it would be fun to try this in school.

He gave a copy of the story to Bryony (a girl in our class) and told her to read it and make sure she understood it. Next lesson, she had to retell the story to two girls who would then retell it to someone else. Like a game of Chinese whispers, each girl retold it and the story was passed through the class.

There were two groups of us doing it (one of the girls for each group), just in case it went horrifically wrong. After you had retold the story to the next person, you had to write it down.

After everyone had been told the story, Mr Webb gave us all a copy of the original story. He asked the last two people who had heard the story to read out what was on their sheets and it was actually hilarious to see how wrong it was.

I was in the same group as Charlie (who may as well be partially deaf, she hears stuff wrong when we're not playing Chinese whispers) so our group was definitely the worst. We were in no way at all close to the original story.

Don't believe me?

Right. Here is the original that Bryony started off with.

This is what I had written down:

2 guys went seal hunting. Heard a noise. 4 other guys were going to a war party, invited them along. The one guy said that he didn't have enough hours and his family needed him at home but he told the other guy he could go. They went to the war party and lots of warriors on each side died. The Indian got stabbed but didn't die. He went to the tribe and they were sat around a bonfire. He told them he'd been stabbed but that he was neither dead nor injured. Then black smoke came out of his mouth, said "I've walked among the ghosts", he went rigid and fell.

I was sat next to Charlie so I had to pass the story on to her. Above is exactly what I said to Charlie. Word for word what I said.

Would you like to know what Charlie had written down? Bearing in mind all she had to do was listen to what I said, repeat it to Sophie and then write down what she said. Simple right? Apparently not. She wrote:

2 guys meet 4 others.
Invite to party on a wall.
A couple go home.
Fight breaks out.
Indian guy comes along.
Gets stabbed.
Goes home.
Isn't dead/ill.
Black smoke comes out of his mouth.
He's a ghost.

Now I know it's hard to hear people sometimes but come on. That is nothing like what I said. You can kind of tell that mine is from the original story. Charlie's just sounds like she's written random phrases down..

It's been 2 months ish and it still makes me cry with laughter. "Invite to party on a wall" and "he's a ghost" just kill me.

Such a funny day. :)

parents evening.

2011-11-25T11:07:00.001Z

I had one of the best parents evening ever last night.
Apart from funny pictures with my mum and lots of laughing from our various jokes, what my teachers said was just amazing.

My Welsh teachers told Mum that I was a pleasure to teach. They said I had a natural understanding of the language, that I was a pleasure to listen to and that I could actually get an A* in the subject! I found out that I had an A and a B in my mock which is really nothing short of a miracle, I forgot I had it and didn't revise until the day before. The way they said it made me feel really proud though, as though I actually am as good as they say.

Psychology was definitely the best one ever. Mr Webb is by far my favourite teacher I have ever had. He told me that I saved his reputation after our first exam because my A proved that he wasn't a bad teacher. He talked about how he enjoys teaching me and how I have a natural talent for the subject and then he said two things which have pretty much made my education. First he said that he misses me when I'm not in class because I ask the questions and stretch him, making him think and he enjoys it when I ask a question he doesn't know the answer to. And then he told me that he respected me. He respects me! Genuinely thought I might've cried when he said that. He told me that he's sure I'll be able to get a PhD in the subject and just, aw, these two appointments have really motivated me to start revising.

Best evening!

nant gwrtheyrn - Sunday

2011-11-24T20:51:00.000Z

Well, it was finally time to say goodbye. As tired and (only slightly) hungry I was, I was actually sad to be going home. I wasn't sure what I'd miss the most. The constant Welsh, the weather, the way it felt like I belonged there, living the history and breathing in the beauty. It turns out that what I miss the most is the mountains (or the really giant hills, whatever you want to call them). I'm not sure why... I just miss driving down roads that were surrounded by hills, looking down on tiny villages, driving up into the clouds and back down into reality.

The view from the breakfast room.

An old farmhouse right next to the breakfast building. It was one of three (the highest one is in the photo down there)

The old farm house.

Nant Gwrtheyrn from the top of the road leading down to it.

The drive home wasn't boring the way returning usually is. We had a few stops along the way; the first stop was in Rhyd Ddu, to visit the area that T.H. Parry Williams used to live in.

Standing outside his house, looking at Snowdon in the distance, one of the teachers started to recite his poetry. It gave me goose pumps, it was so.. I don't know, magical? Special? It brought the words to life.

Beddgelert was our next stop. I was starting to wonder if we'd ever find somewhere that didn't want me to instantly move there but Beddgelert definitely wasn't the place that change that, it was stunning.

Visiting the grave (Beddgelert literally means Gelert's grave in Welsh) was (for want of a more tasteful word) pretty cool. I hadn't realised that Gelert had really existed (even if the story we all knew wasn't true).

Unfortunately, that was our last pretty stop. The last stop before home was just to stretch our legs, have a wee and stock up on drinks and food. After that it was just a straight drive home. There was a tiny bit of traffic (one junction before where we were getting dropped off!) but then the journey finally stopped. It took us almost 7 hours and I still wasn't home. Anthony picked me up and, after a quick McDonalds detour, finally took me home.

nant gwrtheyrn - Saturday

2011-11-20T14:57:00.001Z

Saturday began with everyone in the breakfast room, watching the Rugby on a projector on the wall. It was when I really started to miss home. The atmosphere in the room was non-existent. I wanted to be in the pub, cheering or shouting with a pint or at least in work with everyone else watching it but instead, I was sat with people who weren't really interest with what was going on. Mind you, it was nice that, being Welsh students + teachers, we knew most of our national anthem because when the team started singing it, we all stood up and sang along. I wouldn't have had that at home so I guess there were upsides to being where I was. :)

I won't spend too long talking about the rugby since the last time someone mentioned it (my Psychology teacher), I ended up having an intense 10 minute conversation about the match so I'll just say that we lost, I was depressed and then we left.

Our first stop was a photo stop and it was the prettiest view ever. In the background (I think!) is Snowdon but I'm not 100% sure.

The scenery there made me feel so.. peaceful and connected. I felt a part of it, as though I belonged there. I was starting to wish I had longer than 2 days left..

We drove on to the Llanberis Slate Museum. It was actually really interesting there.. We learnt about the slate industry (at least I think we did. I picked up the headphones with the Welsh commentary so I only understood 40% of what I was listening to..) and then we went to watch a man who used to work in the slate factory breaking slate.

He was lovely and he made me a slate heart! I've got it propped up by my mirror on my window sill and I love love love it. Watching him make it was so cool as well.

I got presents for Ant and Mum here and I have to say, they are the nicest presents in the world. I got Mum a bookmark and Ant an air fresher for his car that smells of daffodils. The best part? They were made from recycled sheep poo. Aren't I just the best daughter/girlfriend in the world?

We drove to Anglesey then and the bridge to get there was amazing! The views from Anglesey are incredible. I'm so in love with this place. Ahhh I wish I was back there now!

Seeing Siwan's grave was surreal as well. It had more of an effect on me than I thought it would. The flowers on top of it were so beautiful.

Llanfairpwll was our next stop. I've wanted to go there ever since I learnt to say the full name in Year 5 (8 years ago). For those of you who don't know, Llanfairpwll, or Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, is a small village in North Wales. It's the longest word in the Welsh language. We went to the train station there and the sign was huge!

We drove back to Nant Gwrtheyrn after Llanfairpwll (via Tesco for lots of junk food) which was lucky because we were all shattered.

After a quiz (which we won!) we got to go to bed and sleep before our day of travelling home.

nant gwrtheyrn - Friday

2011-10-25T09:54:00.000+01:00

The cafe (in the top left) where we had breakfast and dinner.
This is the view walking from our house to breakfast.

After a ridiculously early breakfast on Friday morning (half past 8!) we went to the Church and had a presentation about Nant Gwrtheyrn. We learnt all about the village, recent past and way way back to when it was first discovered.

Our house is the door on the left, our window is the top window on the right.

The woman giving the presentation told us all about the story Rhys and Meinir, and how it was meant to have happened in Nant Gwrtheyrn! I won't write the whole story out but you can read it if you click the link :)

The Church is the building behind the tree, by the white posts.

Afterwards, we climbed back into the minibus and set off up that insane road, on our way to Abergwyngregyn. We were going to visit Llewelyn Fawr's house, where his wife Siwan spent a year in seclusion (basically as a prisoner) after her affair with Gwilym Brewys. It's part of Welsh history and it's the basis for the play we study in Year 13, called Siwan.

The visit usually consists of the owner giving a talk for an hour or so about the house and Llewelyn, then showing you around the tower. This time though, two famous Welsh actors were there, John Ogwen and Maureen Rhys. They are the voices on the recording of Siwan.

Maureen spoke to us for about half an hour, all about the history of the play and the story behind it. She spoke only in Welsh so it was a bit harder to follow, still really interesting though. Then, her and John read out parts of the play and oh my god. I liked John's voice on the CD but in person it's just... I can't explain it. The owner of the house said "When John starts speaking, something inside me melts. That's proper Welsh, that is." I think that explains it.

They read out my favourite part of the play; it's in Act 3 and it's when Llewelyn finally tells Siwan that he loves her. I genuinely think I fell in love with John when he read out my favourite line: "Felly'r addolais i di, fy fflam." (So I worshipped you, my flame.)

We looked around the grounds and to the spot where you could see where Gwilym was hung, before we set off for Conwy. This was a very Llewelyn themed day because we were going to see his sarcophagus.

The decorations in the Church in Conwy.

I can't remember the exact story but I know that after being moved a few times, the location of Llewelyn's body is unknown. All we have is his sarcophagus, in Conwy.

I have to say, other than the sarcophagus (and the stunning burger I had in a little fish and chip restaurant) one of the things that stand out about Conwy is it's roads. They were so narrow and confusing and I was so so glad I wasn't driving!

We had a bit of time for shopping after we'd eaten our (delicious!) dinner and I bought this:

How cool is that?! Me and Ant played a game after I got back on Sunday and it was so much fun, especially because I won!

After Conwy, we drove to Caernafon. We had a spare half an hour before we went to the rugby club so we just had a KFC and stocked up on junk food from the local spar. We almost lost the mini buses as well but we found them (thankfully!) and once everyone was back, we drove to the (fairly out of the way) rugby club.

This might sound like a strange place to go on a school trip but there was a reason behind it. In Caernafon rugby club that night they had 6 or 7 very famous Welsh writers reading out their work. There were a few people in the audience from Welsh TV as well.

Hearing the writers was something else though. They were speaking about our language and our heritage and our history, about how we should still fight to be heard and how our history is still important today. I loved it. It's made me want to know more about it, read more of their work. I hadn't wanted to go at first but I'm so so glad we did!

What's more, S4C (the Welsh channel) were there, filming! I rang my mum and had her put the channel on and she could see me! She recorded it but I haven't watched it yet. Apparently all you can see is me frantically waving. But hey, at least you can see me. Fame, here I come!

We went back to Nant Gwrtheyrn after about 10pm and I have to say, as much as I hated going down the road in the daylight, going down it in the dark was close to a nightmare. I was glad when the car reached the car park!

nant gwrtheyrn - Thursday

2011-10-24T18:50:00.000+01:00

On Thursday (the 13th) I went on a school trip to Nant Gwrtheyrn, a small village in North Wales. The trip was with the Welsh department so the entire weekend was spent talking nothing but Welsh (well, with the teachers and shop keepers, we spoke English to each other) and I love, love, loved it. Anyone who says the Welsh language is dead should go and spend a day up in North Wales. Welsh is everywhere.

Only me and Bethan went from our school which meant that none of our teachers went either.. Miss Davies picked us both up at about 7am and drove us to St Josephs, the school that the mini bus was going from. She introduced us to Helen, the Urdd worker who was in charge of the whole trip. Bearing in mind that she had told us quite a few times that Helen was so scary, she even scared Miss Davies, me and Beth were feeling very nervous..

Helen wasn't too scary but the 16 pupils from St Josephs just kind of stared at us until we got on the bus. The only person who we knew that was going (another Bethan) was being driven down by her teacher so we really were alone! Miss Davies said goodbye and walked over to her car and right up until she drove away, we were convinced she'd come back and say she was coming after all but alas, no such luck.

The journey to North Wales normally takes just under 5 hours but we had 4 stops on the way up so even though we left just after 8am, we didn't arrive in nant gwrtheyrn until half 5/6pm.

Our first stop was in Builth Wells for a coffee. I had the tastiest bacon butty, it was beautiful. We didn't stop there for long because after half an hour we were back on the mini bus, on our way to Cilmeri.

Llewelyn Monument

Cilmeri is a small village but it has a powerful history. It is where Llewelyn ap Gruffydd, the last Prince of Wales, was killed. We had to study a poem in Year 12 on it so being there was strangely surreal, especially when one of the girls read the poem out.

We all piled back into the mini bus and drove on to Dolgellau. We had a longer stop here so me, Bethan, Bethan and Keryann found a small cafe and had some lunch. It wasn't the nicest food in the world but after being on the bus for close to 4 hours, I was prepared to eat anything.

Our next stop after Dolgellau was Trawsfynydd. In Year 12, we studied a Welsh play called Hedd Wyn, about a Welsh poet who fought in the war and who won the Chair in the Eisteddfod. Hedd Wyn lived on a farm called Yr Ysgwrn and this farm is in Trawsfynydd. The man who owns it, Gerallt, is Hedd Wyn's nephew and he and his own nephew were our guides.

Gerallt is the cutest old man. He doesn't speak English that often and so he makes some mistakes and he used to live in the cottage, without electricity or anything truly modern, until 1993. He even used the old cooker and iron!

His nephew talked to us about the house and it's context and also showed us some family photos and a family tree. Gerallt took us into a room that had all of the Chair's Hedd Wyn ever won, including the Black Chair, and talked us through Hedd Wyn's life and his poetry. It was another surreal moment, being in the house and hearing about Hedd Wyn.

We left Yr Ysgwrn and after a quick trip to Tesco, we finally began the drive to Nant Gwrtheyrn.

To get there, we had to drive up a very steep mountain. Now, the entire time we were driving vertically up this mountain (not hill, I've seen big hills and this was not one, this was a mountain!) all I could think about was that we were either staying at the top of this mountain or (and this is what I feared most) we were staying at the bottom of it.

I soon had my answer.

The road down to Nant Gwrtheyrn was the steepest, windiest road I've ever travelled on. This photo doesn't even do it justice.. The village in an absolutely stunning place though, even at the bottom of a mountain where you only got signal on the window sill or if you used the wifi during the half an hour you had for breakfast and dinner each.

We were given the room list, told we had half an hour until lunch and then left to find our houses and unpack our stuff. I'm not sure what I expected but it definitely wasn't what we saw.

There were two rows of houses, one facing the mountain in the photo up there ^ and the other facing the beach and sea. Mine and Beth's house was facing the mountain. The houses were split into rooms, each with it's own bathroom and key. We had 3 rooms in our house, one on the bottom floor and 2 upstairs. The room downstairs and the room opposite ours were taken by teachers (worst luck!) and we were staying in room 3.

Our house is the 3rd or 4th from the left.

It was just like staying in a hotel! The bathroom was huge, the beds were unbelievably comfy, we had underfloor heating and our own desk and armchair. We fell in love with it pretty quickly.

The view from our window was just amazing as well.

I soon found that sitting on the window sill, reading my book and looking at these views was something I would be very very sorry to leave come Sunday.

Dinner was at half 6 and after some games to help us get to know each other, we all got to go back to our rooms and go to sleep. Thank God, even though me and Beth had pretty much slept the whole way down, we were absolutely shattered!

secret laptop photos.

2011-09-30T10:00:00.000+01:00

I'm mentioned before that I'm using my boyfriend's laptop because mine's broken, right? Well, if not, you know now.

ANYWAY. I was trying to do something earlier (ok, I managed to completely remove the internet again and I was trying to work out how to fix it but shhh!) when I found some photos of the boyf. Since he'd never let me put them on facebook or twitter I'm going to put them here.

Just look how cute he is!

picnic.

2011-09-29T10:00:00.000+01:00

i want to go on a autumn picnic. the kind where you wrap up warm, take extra blankets not to sit on but to cwtch into when it gets cold, where there’s good food and a fire and friends and stories and laughter, by the sea or by somewhere beautiful, the kind that you remember forever and that brings a smile once winter swallows you up.

anthony's 18th.

2011-09-28T09:22:00.000+01:00

So much has happened lately (like the fact I'm EIGHTEEN! and I HAVE A JOB!). I want to write about it on here but without the pictures, a lot of it wouldn't make sense! I'm still waiting for my laptop to get fixed (my Dad can't seem to understand that being an A level student, I kind of need a laptop that actually has word on it..) and the one I'm using won't let me upload photos. :(

Luckily, for Anthony's birthday celebrations, I used my blackberry (bad photos) and one of his sister's friends had her camera (I look like I should live in a rock in all of them).

So on the 19th, my boyfriend turned 18. It took him 10 whole days after I turned 18 to do the same but he eventually got there. I spent most of those 10 days saying things like "Want to go to the pub? Oh no wait, you can't, you're not 18 like me.." He loved it.

I think his revenge was turning 18 on a Monday. We all went to the pub that night (we being me, Charlie, Anthony and Chavers then a bunch of people who met us there) and pretty much all of us regretted it the morning after..

After pre-drinks at mine, we headed over to the Sheaf. Chavers decided that now would be a good idea to introduce us to her pig. Confused? We were as well, until she brought it out.

Bad quality photo but basically, you put the tiny burgers (each with a number on the back from 1 - 4) into the pigs mouth and push down on his head. He "swallows" the burger and his stomach gets bigger. Each person does this until the pigs belly pops through his belt. If that happens to you, you've lost the game. Sound pretty innocent? It's a children game so, like that, it does.

Did Chavers let us play it like that? Oh no. We had a pint glass in the middle of our table and each person had to pour a little of their drink into it. There was a mixture of smirnoff ice, cider and black, carling, fosters and coke in that pint glass. Then, when you picked up a burger, the number on the bottom was the number of fingers of drink you had to drink. Joel and Jon (who were both drinking coke) kept getting 1's while I kept getting 3's and 4's! And you didn't just "lose" this game. If the pigs belly popped on your go, you had to drink the pint in the middle of the table. Thankfully we didn't lose and Anthony ended up drinking it. I don't think a single one of us was jealous, it must have tasted disgusting.

Ant's effort was impressive mind, he had 14 pints and something like 3 shots of whiskey that night. Tried to make out he wasn't hungover the next day but I know he's lying. We were all so grumpy when we got into school. Oh yeah, we all went in! Not sure why Chavers or Ant did as they had no lessons but we were all there, getting our school on. I took my blanket in with me so I spent my frees cwtched up in it. Best idea I've ever had. :)

The second part of Ant's birthday celebrations was me and him going away for the weekend to see his family. On the Friday afternoon, we drove to Haverfordwest (picking his sister Becs and her boyfriend, James, up from a train station on the way) to see his grandparents and his Dad. We had a chinese with his grandparents before going to the hospital to visit his Dad (hip replacement the day before.. ouch!). It was the first time I've met his Dad and his Dad's wife and I really like them! They're funny and his Dad said I was good looking which is always a good way of getting me to like you.. haha! :)

On the Saturday, we went to see his younger brother and sister, Noah and Maisey. You should know that they are the prettiest children I have ever met. Maisey was really quiet but I did find out that we have the same favourite Disney princess (Belle!). Once we left theirs at about 2, we popped back to his grandparents to say bye before leaving for Aber. :)

Becs and James both go to Aberystwyth University so they live in a house in the town (actually, it's right off the high street) and they'd invited us to stay with them and go out with them Saturday night. It took about 2 hours to get to Aber from HVF and it rained the whole time. We went through some hills (or mountains? I don't know, let's go with hills) and it was such a pretty drive. I really want to just drive through Wales one year, our country is so beautiful..

Anyway, we got to Aber and since we weren't going to start drinking until half 7/8ish, me and Anthony went to the Spar (and had a quick look around) and stocked up on the junk food we'd need for the journey home. After a pizza with Becs, James and Hayley (one of their friends who also lives in the house) we started drinking.

Another drinking game was played but the rules and stuff would take a whole other blog post to explain (you play with a pack of cards - I think it was Ring of Fire but I'm not sure). James did end up breaking a glass because of one card though!

At 9 or so, we walked down to Downies, a pub literally at the end of their street. A couple of their friends met us there as well. IT was absolutely packed. It was the first night of Freshers so all of the first years were out and most of the 2nd and 3rd years. Getting to the toilet, which a short walk across the pub, took me about 5 minutes each way, trying to squeeze past all of the people in there.

The coolest thing ever happened while we were in there, and on our journey down to HVF actually, now that I remember! There were people speaking Welsh! A woman in McDonalds ordered her McDonalds in Welsh and there were 3 or 4 women in the toilets speaking it as well. I was so jealous!

After the pub, we walked down to the Pier and went to a club called Pier Pressure (Ant really liked the name). They had an offer here that for every 2 bottles of WKD you bought, you got a free pair of huge sunnies. I didn't buy WKD while we were at this club but ended up with my own pair of glasses..

Becs and Hayley convinced me to get on to the dance floor (worst idea, I dance worse than my Dad does). Then, after a couple of minutes, Barry (one of their friends) had got Anthony up as well! I wish wish wish I could have filmed his dancing to show you it, it was brilliant. We danced for aaaaages then me and Ant went back to sit with James.

We left about half 1 and went back to the house while Becs, James and Hayley didn't get in till about 4. THe morning was nice and chilled and we all went out for breakfast at 1. The 4 of them had huge breakfasts (Anthony's was actually called the Monster) while I had chicken nuggets and chips. I am honestly considering going to Aber Uni just so I can eat that food again. It was delicious!

After getting lost in the town (Ant and I had gone back out after breakfast to get some drinks only to lose the Spa and end up back at the Pier) we dropped Becs and Hayley at the University and left for home.

It took us about 3 hours to drive home but the route was so pretty, it didn't feel that long at all. It was breathtaking in places.

I had such an amazing weekend.. I'd love to do it again. We're going away with my sister this weekend, to a theme park in England and all three of us are mega excited! Only 3 more days!! :)

1 year ago today.

2011-09-19T10:58:00.000+01:00

I can't believe it's been a whole year since this happened.

So much has changed but I still can't find the right words to talk about it all..

On one hand, it doesn't feel as though it's been a year. I can remember the day so vividly that it's as if it happened last week, not last year. I can still remember how I felt, what I did, where I went. There's still whispers of shock left for days when I momentarily forget that she's not round the corner and that I can't just pop over for a chat.

Then, on the other hand, a year is such a long time to have gone without her. I miss her so much and there are times that I just can't get my head around the fact that I will never see her again. That it may have been a year but it's also all the years that I will live as well. That this doesn't ever stop, there isn't a break. I will always miss her and she will always be gone. And it's hard. There's so much she should be here for.

I still have her number in my phone and I still go to ring her when something important happens. When I got my first psychology grade or passed my driving test or when I got my AS results... Each time, once I'd rung everyone, I always went to ring her number, forgetting there was nobody on the other end who would answer.

Then there are the things in the future that she'll be missing. Bethan going to University, Lottie's GCSE results, my A Level results, me going to University... Things that she would have loved to have seen and it's just so unfair that she can't.

After everything, the only thing that helps is to just remember her and know that she might be looking down on us, still proud, still watching and still making sarcastic comments that will definitely be making the people she's with laugh.

year 13 options.

2011-08-31T11:48:00.000+01:00

Next Monday is enrolment for Year 13, where (I think) you go in and just enrol for next years classes. While being kind of excited, I am really really not looking forward to this school year.. But that topic will probably take up a whole other blog post.

I've spent a lot of time trying to decide whether I want to take Philosophy and Ethics or English next year. Only 6 days ago, I was sure I'd be taking Philosophy&Ethics and not English. In fact, I was so sure I wasn't going to do A2 English that I didn't go to the last 2 weeks worth of lessons at the end of last year.

As always with my life, nothing ever goes the way I think it's going to. I ended up getting a higher grade in my least favourite subject than a subject I had really enjoyed and it's disconcerting because I had it all figured out and now I have to rethink it all.

After spending a lot of time trying to convince myself English at A2 will not cause me serious health problems, will not cause me to descend into a never-ending state of madness and will not cause my last year in school to be shrouded with giant black clouds and dramatic horror film lightning storms (3 examples of my mind's arguments against taking English) and a few conversations with my cousin, I've conceded that taking English at A2 is probably the best option I have.

I need at least 2 A's and a B to get into the Universities I want to go to, preferably 3 A's and, after my results, I really don't think I'll be able to get a B or higher in Philosophy and Ethics. I mean, I might be able to but taking A2 and resitting AS (especially after how I did this time), it's not a sure-fire thing and I really don't want to take a gamble like that. So I'm going to take English and just resit As Philosophy and Ethics. At least with English I know I can get at least a B (especially since my effort for t exam was less than nothing and I managed to get that) so, this time, I need to take the subject that will get me in instead of the subject that I really enjoy. A sucky idea but it's only for 9 months so hopefully it won't be too completely awful and I did really enjoy English at GCSE, the A2 course looks a lot better than AS so fingers crossed it'll end up being a good decision. :)

I'm home!

2011-08-25T13:54:00.001+01:00

26 days after I left and I'm finally home. I absolutely loved America. I can't wait to show you all of the pictures I've taken and tell you all about what we got up to over there. It was the best holiday I've ever had (with my family, Haverfordwest is still the best holiday in the whole entire world).

I drove for the first time in over a month the day we got back. Luckily I hadn't forgotten how to. It was so so nice to be driving again, it's one of the things I missed the most while I was away.

I've seen the majority of my friends as well. I can't even explain how much I missed them. Anthony picked us up from the bus station so I got to see him straight away. We went to McDonald's with Rhiannon and Natalie afterwards (after mine and Rhi's cutie little walk) and I had the most fun. I missed those girls more than I realised, they're so funny and I just luff them loads and loads and loads. I got to see Joel and Jon yesterday when I drove us (+ Ant) to KFC and McDonald's. Unfortunately, my best friend decided to fly to France the day before I landed, for a family holiday. Clearly, she hates me and doesn't even care that it's been a month (the longest time we've been apart in six years!) since we've seen each other but whatever. She gets back Friday evening, working on Saturday but she's coming over Saturday night which is perfect because I've missed her so much I think I'm now slightly insane.

Another important thing that has happened since I got back is that I got my AS results. For those who don't know (or need reminding) I sat exams in 4 subjects; Psychology, Welsh, Philosophy and Ethics and English. Psychology, Philosophy and Ethics were purely exam based so I sat one exam per subject (although for Philosophy and Ethics the two grades are made into one overall grade). For Welsh I sat a written exam, an oral exam and completed coursework (again, the 3 grades are made into one overall one) and for English there was coursework and one exam (overall grade again). I'm happy with my Psychology grade, my Welsh is good, English was surprising but I'm really disappointed with my Philosophy and Ethics grades. My grades were:

Psychology A

Welsh A

(A's in the coursework and the oral, B in the written)

English B

(B in the exam, A in the coursework)

Philosophy and Ethics C

(C in Philosophy and D in Ethics)

It's frustrating because I know exactly why I got the lower grades. In Welsh, I didn't revise the poem enough to have been able to get the A in the written (I focused on the idioms and similar words instead), in English I hated the subject and didn't bother with it so that's the reason there and for Philosophy and Ethics I just did not revise enough. Actually, I barely revised at all for those two subjects. I don't even know why, the only excuse I have is that whenever I sat down to revise them I wanted to cry and so gave up. I'm so annoyed, I could have got at least a C in both, probably a B. The other problem with Phil&Ethics is that I have absolutely no idea how to structure the essays we have to write for them, or what to include in my answer. Because for the essay questions, you have to talk about a lot more than what the question appears to be asking and I just don't know what I should and shouldn't include. So I need to work on that.

So this year I'm going to work really really hard, revise and make sure that all of the results I see on the paper next August I can be happy with. I'm definitely going to resit Philosophy and Ethics, I'm going to ask my Welsh teacher if resitting the written exam would be a good idea or not but I'm not going to resit English. I don't think I'd be able to handle any more of that subject. Never ever.

Kind of want to avoid my Ethics teacher for the rest of my life though, she was expecting an A off me.. I'll let you know how that first lesson back goes. Hopefully I'll survive it..

lucky me!

2011-08-02T16:30:00.000+01:00

I now I've been the world's worst blogger recently but I do have a very good reason for it.... I'm in America!!

Yep, on Saturday I was on plane to Florida. So, what with packing and saying goodbyes to everyone, writing a blog post got pushed down my to-do list! As soon as I get back (and my laptop gets fixed) I'll post a whole bunch of posts, telling you all about my time here.

You'll have to wait 3 weeks for that though because I don't get hone till the 23rd. After Florida, I'm going to Memphis, then Washington then New York! Holiday of a life-time much? :)

See you soon! :)

dream.

2011-07-17T19:14:00.000+01:00

I had a dream last night that you woke me up at 6am, telling me I had an hour to get my stuff ready because we were going out for the day.

Next thing, we were in the car, listening to my favourite songs as we drove to anywhere. The sun was shining, we were laughing and I knew that these songs would remind me of this day for a long, long time.

In true dream style, we ended up at my favourite beach a lot quicker than we should've, with weather totally rare for where it is.

It was the perfect day.

We led on the sand, your arms around me, listening to the waves. We walked to my favourite coffee shop, you held my hand as we went through the tunnel that's always scared me and didn't care that I wanted to spend lots of money in the arcade.

Suddenly, we were in my favourite pub (unfortunately this is still a dream) and I got to eat my favourite meal with my favourite person.

Our day ended with us back on the beach, watching the sun set. There were reds and oranges and yellows lighting up our faces and for the first time in months, I was perfectly happy.

Of course, dreams end and I had to wake up but even if it could never happen, it was nice while it lasted.

rock climbing.

2011-07-09T14:20:00.000+01:00

It's activity week in school this week which means that, for the whole week, Years 7, 8 and 9 don't have to do any work or go to lessons, they do things like rock climbing and ice skating and quizzes and a talent show and Year 12 (my year) have to help out.

Not many of us have actually gone in this week but somehow on Wednesday, me, Charlie, Anthony, Alice, Rhiannon, Natalie and Harriet all ended up in school, supervising the Year 9 rock climbing..

Obviously we joined in.

We were just sat on the grass watching the Year 9's for about 20 minutes but eventually, the children in us decided we wanted a go as well.

It was a lot higher than it had looked from where we were sat on the grass (and a lot harder!) The first time I tried it, I got almost to the top but to come down you have to just jump and the harness/rope lets you fall gently until you land on your feet. Unfortunately, when you're up a boulder, jumping off into the air then falling to the ground does not sound like the most inviting idea ever. The boulder-man wouldn't let me climb back down so, in true cool kid style, I jumped and screamed my way down. What makes it worse is that it was only like, 8ft tall or something. Thankfully I dind't scream on any of the other times I jumped down. I did land on my butt every single time bar one though, like the classy bird that I am.

The harnesses had the added bonus of looking like weird, giant nappies. Plus they were SO unconformatable while you were climbing - why the makers thought making it so that the rope tugs you up by your crotch was a good idea I'll never know.

Definitely glad we all went in that day although, to be honest, I don't think rock climbing is exactly my thing...

update!

2011-07-07T01:54:00.001+01:00

I can't believe it's been almost a month since I last posted.

I've been busy but this is just inexcusable.

Seeing as it 01:30 (and I have school.. this morning? today? tomorrow? - I have school in 7 hours) this will just be a really really quick update of what I've been doing this past month. I'll post pictures and all that jazz some other day :)

attempted rock climbing.
saw Glee in concert.
spent the weekend at my uncles.
rode in a VW beetle (my ultimate favourite car).
I've eaten an unreal amount of domino's..
I've had 2 teeth taken out (and been sedated for the first time ever ever).
I saw Enrique Iglesias in concert.
had a car safety presentation in school and watched someone get cut out of a car.
went to a local stadium for the school's sports day.
had an interview for head girl.
passed my open university course.
went back to school after study leave and I've managed to be on time 3 times in the 3 weeks we've been back. on the first day back I managed to miss first lesson. I was just over an hour and a half late.
my best friend had an operation and spent a week or 2 on crutches. It was so funny (in the nicest way possible, obviously).
finished this years exams!
went to an awesome party at Miriam's.
dyed my hair red.

I think that's it!

I'm absolutely shattered now though so I'm off to sleep. I'll post soon, night! :)

birthday.

2011-06-09T12:04:00.000+01:00

I've been thinking about my 18th birthday a lot lately. It's hard enough thinking of presents for it (I have 4 things on my list right now, a new personal low) but thinking of what I want to do for it is next to impossbile.

See, I'm 18 before every single one of my friends. Harriet turns 18 two days later, Anthony 10 days later, Katie almost 3 months later and Charlie 4 months later.. It just sucks a bit that my first night of legal drinking will have to be without all of them. This caused a problem (I refused to not go out on my 18th - it's on a Friday for goodness sake) but thankfully my cousin Bethan said she'd take me out which means yay! I have plans.

THEN on the day after, a couple of boys in my year are having an 18th birthday which all of my friends are going to so I can go to that and party with my friends so yay! there's that.

So, when I said it was next to impossible I may have been exagerrating a little bit seeing as I seem to have plans covered. It was ahrd though (kind of) so I think I deserve to say impossible. Especially since this is the oldest I've ever felt approaching a birthday. I'll be an adult. The only thing that's really left after turning 18 is that I can't drink in America. That's it. I'll be able to vote.. buy 18 dvds/games.. drink legally.. It's scary!

Anyway, this isn't a post about me feeling ancient or my plans. I keep thinking up "perfect" birthday trips that I want someone to take me on and I thought I'd share my two favourite ones with you (another thing about having no exams - I have absolutely no idea what to do with my time..). Oh, please be prepared for an overuse of the word 'I want'. I usually hate this phrase but I'm going to be selfish and use it. :)

Perfect Birthday Trip #1

London

I want to be taken to London for a weekend (ideally a week but y'know, I'm going to keep it a little realistic). I want to feel like I live in London.. As if I've run away from home to the city, I want it to be romantic or exciting or just, well, perfect.

I'd spend a day listening to choirists sing in Westminster Cathedral, laughing in the Cartoon Museum, going on a Duck Tour. I'd spend as long as possible in the British Library (and if you're allowed, I'd definitely go and see Shakespeare's plays). I want to pretend I'm rich and buy myself a pair of Jimmy Choo's. I want to go on the London Eye (it would take a while to actually convince me to go on it but I would eventually..).

I would go to Madame Tussauds and pretend I'm meeting loads of celebrities. I want to see a play or two and walks around the parks.

I'd love to be able to visit Buckingham Palace when they open the state rooms to the public, so I can pretend that I'm a Princess.

I've been to London before but only ever with the school. It would be so nice to just go there with friends and just be grown up and see London the way I want to see it.

Perfect Birthday Trip #2

To see the Northern Lights.

(this one is a little less realistic..)

[weheartit]

exams exams, go away.

2011-06-06T12:59:00.000+01:00

I really just want my exams to be over now. I can't deal with all this stress anymore.

I swear, if I revise anymore, my head is going to explode.

Tomorrow at 3pm I will have finished my last exam and my life will be my own again.

I can't wait. I keep randomly crying, I'm tired, all I want to do is go to sleep...

Being a in school sucks.

today.

2011-05-28T22:38:00.000+01:00

Today has actually been one of the best days I've had in a while. :)

Nothing huge happened. Well, unless you consider me beating Anthony at bowling huge. Which, thinking about it, I do think that's huge.

So yeah. Today the best thing ever happened. I found out that I can beat Anthony at bowling.

For those who don't know why this is a big deal: Anthony is my best friend. We're both incredibly competitive and whenever we do anything, we turn it into a race. Whether it's who can pass their driving test first (him), who got the least minors (me), who won at the clay pigeon shooting (him) or who's the best at bowling (me), everything is a competition. He's one of those annoying people who win at everything so usually, I end up being the loser.

BUT NOT TODAY!

Nope, today I won. The final scores were 211 to me, 199 to Anthony. Yep, I know. What a beautiful win.

Then we played in the arcade for a bit. Where we played on the car race things and oh, that's right... I won again. In fact, I set the record for the car I chose on the entire game thing (while still beating Anthony's race time).

As if that wasn't enough winning, I had a go on those claw machines. The ones where you can win toys but no one ever does? No one until today. After spending a lot of money, I WON A TOY! I did a little dance and a woman stood near me was laughing because I was alone but that's ok. I won.

You might be thinking 'Wow. That's a lot of winning. I'm sure there could not have been more pure awesomeness happening there that day.' Well, you'd be wrong. About 5 minutes after I won my toy, Anthony won another one.

That's right. We each won a toy (I would just like to point out that I won before Anthony). We beat the claw machines!

To celebrate, I bought myself some candy floss. Which just happens to be the God of all sugary sweet things.

So, in conclusion, today has been awesome.

i want.

2011-05-27T12:12:00.006+01:00

I want to drive somewhere in the sun. I want to play my favourite songs loudly with the windows down.

I want to spend hours in a book shop just being perfectly happy. I want to sit on a beach with my toes in the sand. I want to read my book in a busy kind of silence. 

I want to just sit and watch the sea. I want to listen to the waves and just feel content.

I want to buy an ice cream I won't finish. I want to play on the penny machines. I want to buy something stupid so I can remember my day.

I want to eat a really nice dinner in a really nice place. 

I want to watch the stars. 

I want just one day to do what I want to do most. 

And I want someone to do it all with. 

quick escape.

2011-05-27T00:09:00.001+01:00

So, I mentioned spending all my time revising Saturday and how my pictures help make it better.

WELL. On Friday, I found another thing that makes it better.

It was a really sunny day and me and Charlie had gone into school for revision. Ok, I say revision. We went in to pick up some revision notes, ask a revision question and I had no food in the house so I went in for lunch..

Anyway, after this very stressful day in school, we decided to drive to Blackrock.

It was a rare moment of sunshine which led us to the field where we played a quick round of catch. Watching Charlie destroy the catchy-pad thing was actually hilarious.

We sat on a really cute little bench for a while but then the rain clouds came and we got back in the car before the day could be ruined by the weather.

The only problem is, now, I don't want to do any revision at all!

revising,

2011-05-21T18:13:00.000+01:00

With all these exams (ok, I only have 4 but they're AS's so they're so hard they may as well be a million) I've been spending a lot of time revising.

Sitting at my desk for hours and hours can get so boring...

Sometimes, when reminding myself I'm doing this for the grades doesn't work, I'm extremely glad I have my pictures.

Being able to look up and see my favourite photos of my favourite people makes the endless work a little bit easier. :)

Ramblings from a confused mind..

2011-05-15T14:21:00.000+01:00

I don't know what I'm trying to achieve with this post.. I think it's more me working through my thoughts, getting it down so I can see what's going on..

I don't want to say the actual situation, just because friends follow me on her or read it and it's something I want to keep private.

Discovering you don't know yourself as well as you think you do is kind of disconcerting..

I used to think I had myself pretty figured out.

Don't get me wrong, I know that we change all the time etc etc, but I had a pretty good idea about who I was. I was always sure of my feelings, of what I can and can't do things like that.

I never doubted my instinct because I trust myself and my own judgment.

But then... Well actually now, I'm starting to think that at some point last year, I made the wrong decision and it's thrown me off balance.

At the time, I thought I was making a decision based on sound reasoning but, I don't think it was...

I think I was just scared. And confused. I'd planned out how it should have gone, I was going to give it time, wait until after I'd sorted the other thing out but then after one disastrous night filled with arguments and confrontations, my plan was shattered and everything was suddenly very real.

I think that was the real moment I freaked. It was doomed from the start.. I wasn't ready but suddenly, I kind of had to be.. Then, it slowed down yeah but well, the secret was out I guess. Only it wasn't my only secret and the others I was keeping quiet threatened the one that had just got out..

So it was doomed from the start but I didn't know and I was making myself be OK and convincing myself I was. Then came the summer and I should have seen the signs. Excuses, avoidance, blaming others, hiding behind my other feelings..

I kept telling myself (and have kept telling myself all this time) that it was because I hadn't moved on from the time before, that it was too late, friendship.. I have genuinely believed it was that but what if I was wrong?

I'm starting to think... Actually no. Honestly? "Think" makes it sound like I'm not sure. I'd say I am 99% sure that the real reason was that I was scared.

Absolutely terrified. For way more than the one obvious reason but even so. I was scared. And so, so confused.

Then there's the fact that when I said what I was going to do, none of my close friends said anything other than "I knew it." I am not for one second blaming them. This is completely and utterly my fault. What I'm saying is that, I convinced myself so thoroughly that I can't do these things, that I'm not good at it, I didn't want it and that it was a mistake that I made them believe it. So when I took the route I'd expected myself to take from the beginning, they thought it was what I should do. I wonder if, if they'd said something, maybe told me I was wrong or being stupid, if I'd have changed my mind?

I don't think I would've... I really believed I was making the right choice. I really thought that I didn't want any of it...

But lately, things have shown me that.... Well, that I was wrong. I made a horrible, horrible mistake. I was too scared. I lied to myself so that I would avoid the usual hurt but also the happiness. I don't trust that kind of happiness and so I made myself ruin it.

And now, I'm stuck with the fact that what I did is irreversible. It will never change, never go back, never be the same. I've lost a lot. Way more than what I originally thought I was going to lose.

So I guess that, the only thing I can do is just make sure I don't do this kind of thing again. Learn from it. Sucks but missing what I had or could have had if I hadn't been so stupid is driving me crazy.

wall pictures.

2011-05-15T11:30:00.000+01:00

I've always loved having pictures of my wall, for years I've had various posters, pictures and canvas' stuck up all over my room.

I finally took down my last lot of photos a couple of days ago (I've been meaning to do it since November). My wall looked so empty I made it this little memorial photo:

BUT

there's no need to get too upset!

See, I discovered I had money in my bank account (a rare occurrence) so the first thing I did was order 169 photos off Tesco. Which, if you think about it, is really the only logical thing to do when you finally have money after ages of having none. Not saving it and using it for food, travel, school etc. Oh no. Buying pictures is the only way to go. This is exactly why me getting a job would be a stupid idea. I have no concept of spending money wisely. I once spent a tenner on pink mustaches - a buy I still defend today (I needed them in my life!).

But anyway, they came yesterday and they're beautiful. I've stuck them all up on my wall so that, from my bed, all I can see are my friends and my favourite photos. I love love love it! Katie feels like she's being watched but in all fairness, every single photo has a friend or a family member in it so it's not like I have random people on my wall just staring at me..

Here are the photos (of my photos, how weird..) just for you! :)

The view from my bed.

Wall #1.

I probably could've got a better picture but it would have involved standing on a chair and it was late, I was tired and I thought getting a good-ish quality photo was better than falling off a chair and breaking my leg.

Wall #2.

In case you were wondering, the big black square is a blackboard.

I bought blackboard paint offline and decided to paint a big black square on my wall.

I use it for revision and stuff.

It was hilarious when Mum and Dad discovered what I'd done though.. Before they knew it was blackboard paint they thought I'd just painted a big black square on my wall.

As if I'd do something that stupid.

Wall #3.

The excuse for this photo is that there wasn't enough room to get all the photos in and after numerous tries I got really annoyed and just used this one.

Wall #3 1/2.

This is the little space of wall you can see in the middle of my desk. So when I revise and stuff, I've got these to look at. :)

Annnnd finally, my pin board.

I got sick of never using it so I decided to put some of my favourite photos on here, and a lot from when I was little.

The tickets are for Katy Perry later on this year (YEAAAAH!) and the napkin is an autograph from when I went to London.

And there you go, my beautiful pictures in my really messy room. :)

i think..

2011-04-30T17:36:00.000+01:00

i'm actually obsessed.

royal wedding!

2011-04-30T01:20:00.000+01:00

I'm not sure if any of you watched the royal wedding (I know youtube did a live coverage of it but unless you live in Britian I guess it's not a huge deal) but it was amazing.

Her dress was stunning.. I just.. I can't even put into words how I felt when I watched the coverage today. I'm not a hugely patriotic person but I have never been more proud to be British.

I missed the beginning (I was asleep) but I watched from around the middle and of course I watched the balcony scene! I think I cried about 4 or 5 times.. I actually started clapping when they kissed on the balcony.

I'm just so glad I got to watch it. They are so in love and so beautiful and I'm so jealous that I'm not a princess living in a palace with a tiara and a really sexy prince but it's ok. I'm getting over it, I'm moving on.

Anyway! I just wanted to share some of my favourite pictures (not taken by me, I've gotten them off tumblr) of the wedding. Enjoy!

the key to revision.

2011-04-23T13:35:00.000+01:00

I wish I could say that revision has been taking over my life and that's my excuse for poor blogging but, that would be a lie.
It's the easter holidays at the moment so I have been revising but I have also been driving to mcdonalds and going to the cinema. (Winnie the Pooh? I cried. Beastly? I fell in love with alex + Beauty and the Beast all over again. Limitless? i love him).

However, you might notice that I said I have been revising.
Proud?
You should be!
I have finished writing my social influence notes, summarised the teleological argument with Katie, written flash cards for idioms 1 - 8 and similar words 1 - 5 AND I've written 11 poem essays for welsh.
I am feeling very good about myself right now.

I think I've found the key to keeping me motivated for revision.
Revising in the sun, on the bank of the River Severn, with Katie, while we watch the river and all of the cars going over the bridge. It's perfect for philosophy revision and it's actually enjoyable.

So don't feel bad for me that, while Britain is having sunny days and "heat waves", I'm stuck in revising because I'm out there as well! :)